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laniew1FYI: For those of you waiting for the last story for Every Good Plan… it will be ready on Friday.
And one more time just for good measure: This is a threesome fic, which means that the pairings include Michael/Brian/Justin and any or all variations of the three. Which also means if you don't like Michael or Brian or Justin then you probably will not like this series.
Feedback is welcome, flames will be happily ignored. It's getting cold, I can use them to keep warm.
The first of three sequels to Love, Faith, Truth…
Brian would remember the car ride to the hospital for the rest of his life.
TITLE: Truth – Michael/Brian/Justin
SERIES: The Secret Life of Michael Charles Novotney
Author: Melanie
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing at all, least of all those contained within.
A series of three stories, the same events told from three different points of view.
Read Love, Faith and Truth first.
Aftermath
Brian would remember the car ride to the hospital for the rest of his life.
He would remember every millisecond of terror that he felt, and he’d remember Lindsay driving like she was trying out for an Indy car race, horn beeping, ignoring the posted speed limit for probably the first time in her entire life.
Every so often her hand would come out to touch his and he’d look over at her with what he was sure were blank eyes.
They couldn’t be anything else because he felt totally dead inside.
Mikey… he finally had Mikey and Justin and pretty much everything that he thought he’d never get and someone was trying to take it all away from him.
The car jerked as Lindsay slammed on the brakes, her movements’ jerky with agitation as she shoved the car into park and turned it off. Key clasped in her hand he didn’t even have the energy to yell at her when she slammed the door.
His own movements felt sluggish and a pit of dread was pooling in his stomach, he didn’t want to go inside. What if…
No. Michael would never leave him without saying goodbye.
He needed to find out who had done this so he could personally annihilate them. He didn’t give a flying fuck what anyone else wanted.
Nobody touched or hurt what was his.
He opened the door with new determination; he only remembered the seat belt that Linds had fastened on him when he found he couldn’t move.
A half a movement and he was free from the belt and Lindsay was half yanking him from the car, one hand tight on his arm like she was afraid he would flee given the opportunity.
Which would never happen, because the only way to find out what had happened; who had hurt Michael was to go into that big gray building.
Plus Mikey was in there and there was no way in hell that Michael was going to open those pretty, beguiling eyes of his and not find either him or Justin or both of them at his bedside.
But of course Lindsay didn’t know that and with a grip that he was pretty sure was bruising his arm she practically pulled him the distance towards the entrance to the Emergency room.
He wondered if she was holding Gus with the some bruising hold that she currently had him in.
He wondered if Melanie was aware that Lindsay was this freakishly strong.
******************************************************************************
This was his own personal version of hell Brian decided.
In some previous life, hell probably sometime in this one, he'd pissed off the man up above so badly that every few years, as punishment, he had to sit in a hospital waiting to see if someone he cared about was going to live or die.
He was really getting tired of it and if the thought of going to church didn't make him shudder in revulsion he might actually consider going just to get him to lighten up a bit and leave the people he loved alone.
He touched Justin's soft hair, running it through his fingers almost absently, last time he'd had Michael to hold on to while Justin fought to live. This time he had Justin… and with the change in their relationship Justin had him.
If he'd ever needed proof that Justin cared about, loved Michael as much as he did him it would be the fact that even hours later his shoulder was just starting to dry from being soaked with Justin's tears.
Justin himself had curled up in the chairs, head in Brian's lap a few hours earlier. Every so often his body would jerk, most likely the antiseptic smell of the hospital forcing him to relive his own nightmare of a stay. Brian stroked his head and shoulders till the nightmares abated.
He had his own nightmares of Justin's stay here.
He should have insisted on him going home with Debbie and Vic, at least then he would have slept in a soft bed and hopefully had a few hours of sleep, not interrupted by the nightmares. But he'd insisted that if Brian was going to stay than so was he. He'd frowned and muttered that he wasn't going to have Michael waking up thinking that Brian cared more than he did just because he was a fucking insomniac and stayed.
Brian had devised a system in the four days that they'd sat here waiting for any word on a change in Michael's condition.
Once an hour, until visiting hours ended at nine, they'd be allowed into the ICU to see Michael for ten minutes. Together because Justin had pitched a fit when they tried to send them separately, Brian just nodding in agreement as he'd incoherently mumbled that Michael needed to know that they were there for him together.
Brian knew that the truth of the matter was that Justin was terrified to go into that room and see Michael lying there still and lifeless by himself. That it brought back to many memories that he didn't want. So they went together, stood together. Touching Michael where they could, where they wouldn't knock the very things that were keeping Michael alive off.
When they were unceremoniously ushered out by whichever nurse happened to be on duty, sometimes by their ears, he'd look into the room where Jessie Abbott, the comic book collector that had been in the wrong place at the wrong time was lying unconscious. She had no family that had come forward whereas Michael's fought for every second of their precious ten minutes with him. It had seemed only fair that someone look in and make sure she was still at least there.
He didn't stay long with her, just made sure that all her machines were beeping the way that he hoped they were supposed to. He didn't know her, but he knew Michael. If she died Michael would blame himself.
When he came out of Jessie's room he'd make sure that the armed guard that the F.B.I. had posted at their doors was still there.
He didn't know why they were there, why there were agents with guns wandering around looking like someone had lined up and shot every single one of their puppies… all he did know was that it made him feel just a bit better to know that someone was watching out for Michael when he couldn't.
It had been four days and there had been no change in Michael's condition except that he was once more breathing on his own and would in a few hours be moved to his own room. A room that they'd be allowed to stay in with him and not be ushered out by their ears every ten minutes.
Jessie had been upgraded to stable.
Neither one had woken since the shooting.
Some small part of him wondered if they ever would. That same part wondered why the F.B.I was so interested in a small town attempted robbery.
******************************************************************************
Justin came awake with a harsh breath and a shout that he barely managed to restrain. Before his eyes could even pry themselves open he felt Brian's hand on his forehead. Soothing touch, gentle words that to his terrified mind made no sense.
He felt Brian shift him on the cot and he turned so that he could bury his head in his lap. Inhaling deeply to bring Brian's scent into himself, wrapping his arms in an awkward angle around Brian's torso to hold him tightly.
Brian's fingers brushed through his hair calming him and when he finally relaxed enough to open his eyes he had to blink rapidly to keep the tears back.
It had been six days and he was tired of crying.
"I'm okay," he cleared his throat as he released his hold on Brian; he'd been clinging to Brian since this had all happened and he suddenly wondered who Brian had been clinging to.
A snort from Brian let him know that his statement wasn't believed for a second.
He hated the hospital, hated the sounds and the smells. He hated the nurses and doctors who were trying to help but still couldn't seem to tell them why Michael wouldn't wake up.
And most of all he hated the way that it made him tremble uncontrollably and have nightmares of his own barely remembered stay.
Brian had been with him then he knew. Michael had even been there for a short time before Brian had sent him away to go to David. He wondered if Brian had ever regretted doing that, sending Michael away and not keeping him in the Pitt's with him.
Michael had come back but Justin wondered where they would be if he hadn't.
A glance over at the bed showed Michael in the same position he'd been in when he'd fallen asleep. A still, pale figure in the bed.
A glance at the door showed the back of the armed guard that the F.B.I. had stationed outside the door.
He knew that Brian had tried to talk to the agents about why they were so interested in the robbery… he also knew that Brian had been frustrated as hell when he'd been told it was classified. Part of him wondered if it had anything to do with the phone calls that Michael had been getting.
But then he would laugh because the idea of Michael being involved in anything illegal, with the exception of the drugs from the backroom of Babylon was insane.
Plus he got the feeling that these agents that rotated in six hours shifts were protecting him from something, not keeping him from escaping once he woke up.
That feeling might have come from the fact that they'd all but ripped the investigation from the local police departments' hands without a by your leave, Carl had been infuriated.
The fact that they'd caught the shooter almost immediately had been the only thing that had mollified him.
But it still didn't explain why, if the robber had been caught, and hadn't taken anything to begin with, Michael and the girl had agents standing guard outside their doors.
He wondered if Michael would be able to tell them when he woke up.
"Why don't you go wash up," Brian let him go ruffling his hair as he stood and stretched slightly. Justin licked his lips at the tiny sliver of skin that was exposed when his t-shirt rode up. It had been seven days since Brian had fucked him. Longer since Michael had. "I'm going to get some coffee."
"What time is it?" Justin rubbed a hand over his face, willing his body back under control.
"Almost nine, the munchers'll be here with Gus in 30 minutes so…" Brian arched a brow and Justin nodded.
Deb had been supportive, but she'd needed her own support and neither Brian nor Justin who would normally be that support when something happened to Michael was in the position to give it to her.
Their main source of support had come from Lindsay and surprisingly enough Melanie. They took care of them, they made sure they ate and slept and wandered outside (even though Brian would only go as far as the roof and wouldn't explain why) and Melanie didn't even once complain. Her eyes were always soft and sad. It was easy to forget with the animosity between Brian and Mel that Michael and Melanie had actually gotten along.
They'd almost had a child together, and a fluke accident in her fourth month was the only reason that Gus didn't have the sibling he wanted.
Brian smiled down at him indulgently, posing slightly. Justin frowned; Brian knew him to damn well. Justin wanted sex and Brian knew it.
"I'm going, I'm going… Like its going to scar either Lindsay or Mel if they find me in my boxers and a t-shirt," he muttered under his breath.
"That cute little body hon you'll be lucky if you don't turn them straight," Michael's morning nurse bustled in, pinched Brian on the ass, smirked at Justin when Brian jumped and then laughed as Brian mumbled and fled.
For some reason Nurse Tepper scared the living hell out of Brian.
"I think I gave you maybe ten minutes," she grinned conspiratorially at him. She straightened Michael's sheets (Brian liked to climb up in the bed next to him, he thought Justin didn't know, Justin did the same thing… he was pretty sure that Brian knew), checked his chart and monitors, touched his forehead.
"I think today might be the day," she smiled brightly at him.
"Today?" he asked with wide eyes. "You think he'll wake up today?" he clarified, just in case she was talking about something else.
"Well," she glanced at the bed once more, touched Michael's forehead gently. "It could be tomorrow, but if I had to I'd put money on sometime today."
Justin grinned, the first real grin that he'd managed since Michael had been shot.
Nurse Tepper scared Brian, but Justin adored her.
"You're wasting time sweetie," she winked at him and bustled out. She gave him precious minutes alone with Michael.
Which he was wasting standing here just staring at him.
He was by the bed in a second, settling on the sheets that she'd just straightened. He had a system to the way he did this, he kissed Michael's forehead first, then his both his eyes, his nose, both cheeks and then a soft lingering kiss on his lips.
He was warmer than usual and maybe that's what Nurse Tepper had noticed.
And then he started, they'd been told before they'd been allowed in to see Michael the first time that talking to him was a good thing, telling him what was going on in their lives. Reminding him that his place in their lives was important and he was irreplaceable.
So that was Justin talked about.
He talked about everyone and everything but he only had ten minutes so he most especially talked about Brian. Because Brian was the center of their universe and everything that they were, both separately and together, revolved in some way around Brian.
The one thing he didn't talk about, that he really wanted to talk about, was love. It was time to say the words, long past time Justin thought but it was also a conversation that was only going to be held when Michael could participate in it.
"I miss you," he whispered softly. He ran a finger down the line of his cheek and then leaning forward he pressed a final soft kiss to Michael's lips. Drawing back he felt Brian's hands on his shoulders pulling him into a loose embrace. Resting his chin on Justin's shoulder as they rocked slowly back and forth.
"It's going to be okay you know," Brian murmured in his ear.
"Nurse Tepper thinks he's going to wake up today," Justin countered.
"And it'd be about damn time," Brian grumbled. "So which one of us is going to play Prince Charming and wake him up?"
******************************************************************************
It had been really dark for a very long time Michael decided, but when he'd finally opened his eyes it had been far too bright so he'd had to close them again.
He could feel a warm presence by his side, someone holding his hand, squeezing every so often. Warm lips on his forehead and the soft hum of familiar voices talking above him.
Brian and Justin.
He relaxed and let their voices wash over him. Taking stock of his own body while he half-dozed in what he realized was some drug- induced sort of sleep.
He hurt he decided. All over. It took barely a second to remember what had happened and when he did he cringed.
The shooting, the list compromised… Jessie.
He twisted slightly to move closer to the warm body against his right side, it had to be Brian he decided. Although it might be Justin, he just had a feeling it was Brian. That Justin was the one holding his hand tightly.
It might be the last time that Brian let him this close when he found out what had happened. He drew a deep breath, definitely Brian. His scent was familiar in a way that not many things were.
"Mikey?" Brian's voice was trembling.
"Michael?" Justin's voice this time, also trembling. A hand on his face, fingers rubbing in a whisper of a caress over his closed eyes.
"Open your eyes Mikey," Brian's voice ordered. It had lost the trembling and taken on the sure confidence that Michael always associated with his best friend, with his lover. And Michael didn't disobey orders when they came from Brian.
He opened his eyes slowly, blinking to clear hazy vision. He closed them again when the brightness of the room got to be too much, a quiet word from Brian and Justin moved away.
When he managed to force his eyes open once more the lights in the room had been dimmed and his eyes focused much more rapidly on the two men before him.
Justin's beatific face, eyes filled with tears that were about to fall any second.
Brian was grinning, a full out, full blown smile that was so filled with relief that Michael wondered exactly how worried Brian had been.
Shifting on the bed his face twisted in pain and Brian's hands stilled his movements. He really hadn't wanted to move in the first place, he'd just wanted to get a closer look at Brian's face. At the bags under his eyes, the lines that were prevalent on both his lovers faces.
"I just…" he mumbled, hand waving slightly.
"It's okay…" Brian murmured, he pulled Michael closer to his body, shifted slightly so that Justin leaned into him. Both of their hands touching his. Their fingers linking together in some intricate fashion that left him wondering if they'd ever be able to separate them again.
He rested his head on Brian's shoulder, closing his eyes as he felt Brian's lips on his forehead.
"Hiya Mikey."
******************************************************************************
He hadn’t given much thought to what his mothers’ reaction would be when he woke up. He’d actually been just a bit more preoccupied with the fact that it appeared as if Brian had totally given up on sleeping and Justin looked like he’d been living in a perpetual nightmare and the fact that there was a guard outside his door that was definitely F.B.I. and definitely carrying a gun.
He really didn’t like guns right at the moment.
But if he’d had to guess at what his mothers reaction would be though he would have thought she’d be happy to see him.
Debbie Novotney was grateful that her son was alive, thankful that no permanent damage had been done and currently trying her damnedest to kill him.
“Ma you’re strangling me,” Michael finally managed to get out, he couldn’t raise his arms to ward her off, he didn’t even have the strength to raise his arms.
Brian and Justin just grinned at each other wildly (and while he was glad that they were amused he’d prefer it if they were amused at something other than his attempted murder), he’d so make them pay for that later, when he felt better.
Together they managed to peal Debbie off of her son and instead set her in one of the chairs by the bed.
Justin returning to his side of the bed, Brian going to return to his only to have Deb neatly knock his hand out of the way so she could link her fingers with Michael’s instead.
Brian scowled, cradling his hand to his chest and went to stand next to Justin, sitting on the corner of his chair and laying his hand over Michael and Justin’s joined ones. They hadn’t really let go of him since he’d woken up.
“Don’t you ever do that to me again,” Deb ordered, her voice was gentle but her eyes were filled with steel. If he’d not been lying in a hospital bed she probably would have smacked him.
“I didn’t do it on purpose,” Michael said softly. His eyes wandered to the door where the back of his guard was visible.
Simon had snuck in that morning when Justin had been calling everyone they knew and Brian had been badgering the doctors and nurses incessantly about making sure that Michael was as comfortable as possible.
Which to Brian meant drugs, drugs and more drugs to combat the pain Michael was in. Michael didn’t really mind the pain all that much, it was annoying and yeah he hurt all over but he was also alive. He’d take some pain (not much because he knew his own limits) over death any day.
Now that they knew that the list compromised had indeed included Michael’s name guards, Simon insisted, were a necessity.
For both him and Jessie.
And he’d been given leave to tell Brian and Justin whatever he needed to in order to make sure that they didn’t interfere with the guards’ protection of him, at least that’s what he thought Simons, “they’re going to need to know what’s going on or they’re going to be really suspicious when a guard shows up outside your door at 3 am because one of you is screaming.”
It could have been the drugs though, he’d thought Simon was Elmer Fudd for about three minutes, and really there was absolutely no likeness so yeah… the drugs.
But since he’d been planning on doing it anyway, especially since people were trying to kill him and it would be nice if the men that he loved knew why he had a fucking bull’s-eye painted on his back all of a sudden, he thought it was a nice gesture to have the yeah, sure go ahead, ignore National Security, from the man that brought him into the life in the first place.
Either that or he’d like people to stop trying to kill him. But since that didn’t seem like it was going to happen any time soon…
And then he wondered if he would need guards to protect him from Brian when he told him the truth.
He hadn’t seen Brian really mad in a while. It was probably time.
“You don’t even want to know how worried I was,” Debbie continued. Her eyes filled with tears and she dabbed at them with the wad of Kleenexes that Justin handed over to her. Justin had a seemingly bottomless supply somewhere on his person.
If Michael had been feeling better he would have insisted on a full body search, as it was he felt like shit and he’d supervise while Brian did it… once everyone left of course.
He shifted uncomfortably in the bed, ignoring his mothers’ worried gaze. After a few seconds of watching him not get into the position that he wanted Brian finally gave in and helped him move, of course the moving made him tired again and his eyes drooped slightly as he fought off sleep.
He’d only been able to stay awake for about 30 minutes at a time. He hoped it was a temporary thing.
He squeezed Justin’s hand to let him know that he knew he was still there.
He was never getting shot ever again. Because it sucked, he couldn’t do anything.
No sex, no hugging, no nothing. Because just thinking about those things made him happy and then horny and then he wanted to cut out the parts of himself that ached and just sleep til he was all healed.
He blinked rapidly, widening his eyes as he felt the drowsiness hit him once more. Twisting his head to look over at Brian and Justin helplessly.
The doctors had said that he’d sleep a lot, told him that it was better for his body and for his healing if he didn’t fight it.
The doctor had obviously never been in the same room as his mother, Brian, and Justin before. These were the three people that he would do anything to spend time with.
Brian brushed his hand over his forehead, pressing a gentle kiss there. Michael let his eyes drift closed and leaned into the touch, squeezing Justin’s hand once more.
“Go to sleep Mikey,” Brian’s voice was a quiet order. “We’ll be here when you wake up.”
Michael smiled softly and then his body rushed to obey the order.
******************************************************************************
He knew he wasn’t alone before he opened his eyes.
He knew he wasn’t alone and he knew that the person in the room with him was neither Brian nor Justin, and definitely wasn’t his mother because she’d kissed him goodbye hours earlier.
He didn’t move a muscle on the bed, didn’t do anything to alert his intruder that he was awake. Although he really wished that Brian hadn’t moved the call button for the nurses’ station so he could lay down next to him.
As nice as that had been it would have been even better if he could call someone to come in and remove this person who so obviously did not belong.
Michael let his eyes open into slits and waited for them to become accustomed to the dark. He sighed as if still asleep and twisted on the bed.
A man, to the left, Justin’s side was doing something to his IV.
Not a nurse, he knew all his nurses. They were all females and all smitten to some degree with Brian. One had lamented that it just wasn’t far that someone that gorgeous be gay.
“This is poison,” the voice was soft and Michael wasn’t sure if he was talking because he knew he was awake or just to hear his own voice. It would just figure that he would get a talkative assassin. “It’s very painless, very quick; you shouldn’t feel anything at all. You’ll end up wishing that I’d been first… of course you’ll be dead so it won’t matter.”
Michael concentrated on breathing evenly.
He wondered where Brian and Justin were, they very rarely left his side for more than a few minutes, and normally they didn’t leave together anyway.
He wondered where the guard that Simon had posted at his door was, the one that was needed because supposedly there had been people still trying to kill him. Like the man that was currently injecting something he probably didn’t want into his IV bag.
Well that wouldn’t do at all.
Because the quick glimpse he’d gotten of this man indicated that he wasn’t wearing a nurses uniform and one of those white lab coats or really anything that would say that he should be in this room doing something to anyone’s medical equipment.
He felt the brush of hand over his face and he gathered his strength. Because no one touched him but Brian and Justin, and they plus all those other people he loved would never forgive him if he just lay there helplessly and let this guy kill him.
He pushed up and away from the bed, feeling the needle of his IV rip from his hand and the wires that were attached to his chest to monitor his heart rate and other shit give way.
Distantly, as if it was happening to someone else, he could hear the beeps of his monitors turn into that tone that he only knew from TV shows that indicated that someone was dead or in the process of dying and damn that would be annoying if he wasn’t concentrating on the surprised grunt from his attempted assassin and hoping that he didn’t have a gun or knife or something.
That would really suck.
He knew that his burst of strength wouldn’t last long and he hoped that the guard would realize that something was very wrong, or the nurses would hear that annoying sound and come running with like electric paddles or something or that Brian and Justin would miss him and come back.
******************************************************************************
Justin didn’t know what terrified him more… walking back towards Michael’s room and seeing Simon James, the F.B.I. guy running from the opposite direction with gun drawn or hearing the Code Blue followed by Michael’s room number being shouted out from the nurses’ station.
He ran, hoping that Brian had opted to not call Lindsay and request Gus’ presence the next day and had instead gone back to Michael’s room.
He hoped that Michael had gotten a roommate in the last ten minutes and that was who the Code Blue had been called for. And then he felt bad for wishing somebody else dead so he amended it and hoped that Michael had just had a nightmare or something and torn off his wires.
That still didn’t explain Simon and his gun out though and fear seized him.
They’d just gotten Michael back…
When he got to the Michael’s room, a mere second behind Simon the last thing he expected to see was Michael crumpled on the floor, disheveled and bloody.
Blood on his hand from where it looked like his IV had been torn from his skin, blood on his hospital gown.
Simon had another man in a chokehold, while that guard that had been at the door when they left alternately rubbed at his head and pulled out his handcuffs.
“Are you okay?” Simon’s voice was low and soft and directed right towards Michael with an air of familiarity that Justin didn’t remember from their previous conversations.
Simon had always seemed really detached, like he was just doing his job and could really care less about Michael at all.
This was actually the first time in a week that Justin could remember seeing him express any type of emotion. And Simon was pissed.
So was Justin. They’d left Michael alone for ten minutes because he’d been sleeping and Justin had wanted to call his mother and let her know how Michael was, and Brian needed coffee or he was going to be lying in the bed next to Michael sleeping the sleep of a man who hadn’t slept in over a week.
Like Rip Van Winkle, except without the beard.
How the hell could Michael have gotten himself into trouble in ten fucking minutes?
“Fine,” Michael wheezed arms wrapped around his body protectively, rolling onto his side. “I’m fine…”
Justin was from his position by the door and at Michael’s side before the thought even entered his mind that this was all very strange. He pulled Michael into his arms, thankful that the other man was closer to his size than Brian was, if Brian had been the one lying in a pain filled mass on the floor Justin would never have been able to do this.
Wouldn’t be able to wrap his arms around him and hold him while a nurse unceremoniously pushed the flap of his gown aside, bearing Michael to public view. At least he was wearing the Rage boxers that Justin had got him as an impromptu one month anniversary sort of thing.
It had been a private thing between him and Michael because Brian would have laughed at them and called them lesbians. Michael had gotten him the new graphics program that he’d wanted for the computer, the one that had cost an arm and a leg and that Justin had seriously been considering selling a kidney to get his hands on.
The nurse hmmed for a second, poking and prodding at Michael’s wound while Michael groaned and winced and tried to twist away from her.
Justin drew a deep breath, holding him steady. Trying to think positive thoughts. Brian was much better at this being strong for Michael thing than he was but Justin was learning.
He just hoped and prayed that Michael couldn’t feel the remnants of his terror and kissed his neck softly. A hand rubbed down his side to soothe him, he’d watched Brian do this enough for both him and Michael that he should be able to pull it off.
Michael semi-relaxing was very gratifying.
“Is he okay?” Simon’s voice was more urgent as he hauled the guy that Michael had obviously been in some sort of altercation with, and what kind of asshole fought with a guy that had just got out of a coma and still had the whole gunshot wound thing going on?
“He ripped out some staples, a few stitches,” the nurse announced. “He’ll be okay.”
“You’re sure?”
“He put something in the IV,” Michael mumbled leaning heavily into Justin, grasping at his hand, pulling his gown closed with a nasty look at the nurse.
“What was in the IV?” Justin asked softly, he rubbed his face against Michael’s hair.
Michael was silent for a minute and Justin for just a second thought that maybe he’d passed out… or gone back to sleep.
“What did he do to your IV?” Simon’s voice was steel filled and Justin looked up noticing that he was kneeling directly in front of Michael now. Staring at him like he knew him and not like someone who had just days before been called in because of a robbery / attempted murder.
“He put some kind of poison in it,” Michael whispered, he tried to pull out of Justin’s arms but Justin held fast. He didn’t understand what was being said, but he knew that whatever it was… it was bad and Michael was scared.
“Are you sure?” Simon asked, Michael didn’t say anything and Justin was no longer surprised when Simon reached out to touch him. Simon obviously knew Michael after all.
He wondered vaguely how Jessie fit into all of this, she had guards to. He wondered if anyone had thought to check and see if someone had tried to kill her as well.
Then scowled as he watched Simon tilt Michael’s head up with a gentle hand, and Justin would have given just about anything to know both what the hell was going on and how Michael knew this F.B.I. guy in the first place. “Are you sure?” he asked again.
Michael nodded slowly. “He told me, he was kind of… talkative, I don’t know if he knew I was awake or if he was just you know… tooting his own horn.”
“Nobody better be tooting your horn unless it’s me or Justin, Mikey,” Justin’s head flew up at the same time Michael’s did and he winced when they collided. Brian stood in the doorway looking pissed off as all hell. “Does someone want to tell me what the hell is going on here?”
******************************************************************************
Michael stood on the roof alone, blanket wrapped tightly around him, staring at nothing.
“You lied to me.”
He closed his eyes, drawing the blanket a little tighter, he felt totally numb inside. Like someone had reached in and tore out his heart and soul.
“I need to not be here right now.”
He felt the tears welling up and banished them; he had no reason to be upset. He’d known this would happen. Known that Brian would be angry and hurt, he’d known that he’d walk away.
He hadn’t known the despair he would feel watching it. Justin had left to go after him, and as much as he’d wanted Justin to stay with him… well Brian had first claim on his heart and Brian was who he should be with.
He felt warm all over, even though the Pitt’s was going through a cold snap and snow blew all around him. Was it just because he was so numb?
He imagined that downstairs Simon and the guards were probably going insane looking for him, he hadn’t told anyone where he was going. That was dumb he knew, but Brian and Justin were gone, Jessie was dead.
What was left?
He heard the soft creak of the door open and his spine stiffened. A trickle of fear, a hint of warmth against his legs that tickled something in the back of his mind. It was gone when he turned around.
A man standing there, gun in hand, a wry expression on his face.
He didn’t say anything and Michael just waited. And watched as he lifted the gun, pointing it at him.
He closed his eyes and waited. Waited for pain, for the inevitable shot, for the loud rushing noise that came with it.
He waited.
And waited.
“Mikey…” his face twisted in confusion and he had to stop himself from cracking an eye open. Because that sounded like… Brian. The guy that was going to kill him sounded like Brian; there was some sort of irony going on here that he didn’t think he wanted to get.
“Mikey, wake up,” a sing song and he stiffened. Warmth behind him, a cautious hand flung out connecting with a bare shoulder. A chuckle from Brian and… Justin.
Brian was in front of him and Justin was behind him and the only part of him that hurt was his heart… and his face.
It felt like he’d been crying forever. His eyes felt swollen, his entire face felt like he’d been rubbing sandpaper against it. Not that he’d ever done that before but he imagined if he had that his face would feel exactly the way it did at that moment.
He opened his eyes a crack, half expecting to see the roof and snow and a man with a gun, instead he saw Brian watching him with a worried expression, and realized that he was in his old apartment.
Memories came rushing back and he closed his eyes against the proof of Brian’s worry, Brian should never look like that, should never be sad or depressed, he should always be happy. He hated seeing Brian like this; he hated knowing what had put that look there in the first place.
It had been a dream? A dream that felt so real that he could still feel where he remembered being shot, could still feel the pain and misery that had flooded him when Brian and Justin had walked away.
He closed his eyes and turned his head into his pillow. That wasn’t why he was here though, that wasn’t why he was huddled on the bed in his old apartment. Tears leaked from the corner of one eye and Brian brushed them away with a gentle touch of his thumb.
Pressing his forehead against Michael’s in silent communion, a seemingly age old act that he would never get tired of. That was his and his alone. Justin had his pressed to a shoulder blade, something that was new that he also wouldn’t get tired of.
Not until they got tired of him.
“Oh Mikey,” Brian’s arms wrapped tightly around him and Michael’s whole body shook with silent sobs. The remnants of his dream fading away in the face of his misery.
Ben would have told him that the dream was his minds way of dealing with circumstances that had spiraled out of his control
Ben was dead.
“How…?” he pulled Brian impossibly closer, one hand on Justin’s hip to bring him tighter against his back.
“Your mother was worried, and since we kind of assumed that you’d be coming home seeing as how you’ve been gone for two fucking months, when she called to tell us that you had her drop you off here, and you are getting rid of this place out at the first possible opportunity, and no,” Brian neatly cut off Michael’s objection. “The next time an ex-lover wants to borrow you because he’s on his death bed I’m not going to be traipsing around the city looking for you.”
“I didn’t go traipsing anywhere,” Michael muttered.
“Whatever, the apartment goes. You live at the loft now,” Brian stared at the closet absently. “Do you even still have any clothes here?”
“I had my duffel bag,” Michael said under his breath.
“Anyway so where was I?... Oh yeah, Deb called to tell us that you had her drop you here so we decided to come and get you ourselves. God only knows how long you’d wallow here blaming yourself for the Professor if we let you,” Brian stroked his hair softly, the softness of his touch belying the tone of his words.
Brian wasn’t angry he was scared. Michael knew him enough to know the difference. And besides the gentle touching was the same motion that he’d seen Brian use on Gus after the boy had a nightmare or the way he caressed Justin’s after one of his.
Brian was trying to soothe and comfort him in the only way he thought he knew how.
“I just…” Michael turned his head deeper into the pillow. Remembering the reason why he’d come here instead of going to the loft. “Ben said that he asked you to take care of me,” he mumbled.
Brian was silent and his hand stilled on Michael’s head, holding him in place against him when he would have moved away. Justin’s hand was a steady presence on his hip. Neither let him go, neither moved away.
“He did,” Brian said softly, and Michael couldn’t tell if he was confirming or denying it. Justin kissed the back of his neck, his hand maneuvering its way under the t-shirt that Michael had fallen onto the bed wearing.
“Is that what this is?” Michael asked softly, eyes still closed. Definitely not wanting to hear the answer, but needing to as well. If Brian and Justin had brought him into their bed out of some misguided sense of responsibility or worse pity he really didn’t think he could take it.
That was the whole reason he’d kept the apartment in the first place after all. So he’d have someplace to go when things inevitably ended. Because they always did.
“Is that what what is?” Justin’s lips moved against the back of his neck and Michael fought to keep from shivering.
“Is that what this is…you know us… is this your way of taking care of me, because I’m pretty sure its not what Ben had in mind.”
Brian laughed and he could feel Justin’s lips curving into a smile. “I’m pretty sure that the Professor asked me to make sure that you ate and slept and didn’t wander around beating yourself up because he didn’t want you to watch him die, I’m almost positive that he didn’t ask me to seduce you into our bed at the first available opportunity.”
“You aren’t with us because we pity you or want to save you,” Justin added quietly. “You’re there because Brian planned it all out.”
Michael’s eyes opened in surprise and he drew away so that he could look up at his best friend.
“Well I was bored,” Brian shrugged nonchalantly. Not the least bit ashamed.
“You planned it?” Michael asked incredulously. “Were you in on this?” he twisted his head to look at Justin and the younger man shook his head, taking the opportunity to kiss Michael while he was there.
“Sunshine was not involved in any of the planning… in fact he almost messed up the entire thing,” Brian grumbled.
Both Michael and Justin turned to him with confused expressions. Because they’d ended up together that night, and Justin had initiated the whole thing.
“How do you figure?” Michael asked, running the night through his mind. Hitting all the highlights just because he could.
“I was the one that was supposed to be doing all the seducing.”
“Brian doesn’t like it when people take control of situations out of his hands,” Justin murmured into Michael’s ear, licking it and then laughing as Brian swatted him upside the head.
“All right, are we done here? Because this bed? Is a twin and really is not made for three people, my bed is much bigger and Justin and I have been planning for your return for over a week, so we’ve got enough condoms and lube for about six months,” Brian sat up abruptly, legs kicking over the side of the bed as he stood. He stretched slightly and Michael knew that Brian was pushing their buttons.
They both had too many where Brian was concerned and he knew where most of them were located.
“You don’t have any plans do you?” Brian continued, seemingly oblivious to the fact that neither Michael nor Justin was paying the least bit of attention to his words and were instead focusing on his stomach, and the prominent bulge in the front of his jeans that let them know that laying in close proximity to the both of them had not left him unaffected.
It was gratifying to know that they had the same reaction on him that he had on them.
“Huh?” Michael muttered absently, licking his lips. He had a feeling that behind him Justin was doing the same exact thing.
“That’s what I thought,” Brian smirked. “Get up and let’s go… sex awaits and before you say anything,” he held up a hand as Michael opened his mouth. “We’re not having it here, the beds not big enough and we’ll just end up hurting ourselves and then someone will have to go without, so…” he pulled the comforter that Michael had wrapped around himself off, tossing it on the floor, laughing at the grumble from Michael before he left the room.
“Are you okay?” Justin asked quietly as Michael lay on his back, staring at the ceiling. They could hear Brian out in the living room doing… something very loudly.
“I’ll be okay,” Michael said softly.
Justin turned on his side, resting his hand palm down on Michael’s stomach.
“He won’t say it but he was kind of worried,” Justin confided. “If Deb hadn’t called and told us where she’d dropped you off he would have probably called the police.”
“They require you to be missing for twenty-four hours before they’ll file a missing persons report.”
“Michael you’ve been gone for two months, he would have lied if it would have found you faster…” Justin laid his head on Michael’s shoulder and Michael wrapped an arm around him. “You seem out of sorts, did something happen before…”
Michael closed his eyes, before Ben died. “I just had a strange dream, that’s all.”
“Really, tell me about it.” Justin perked up with interest peering up into Michael’s face. “Was I in it?”
Michael laughed, ruffling his hair. “Yeah you were and maybe later.”
“Brian?”
“I don’t think I’ve had a dream that didn’t include Brian in one form or another since I was fourteen.”
“Don’t tell Brian that,” Justin advised. “His egos big enough as it is.”
“My egos just fine,” Brian appeared in the doorway, coat already on and Michael’s duffel bag in his hand. “You know if you two aren’t interested in sex you can just tell me, Babylon opens in approximately two hours…”
Justin flew from the bed, Michael right behind him.
“That’s what I thought,” Brian smirked. “So are we ready then? Because I think I mentioned the condom and lubes, and there might be some candles and a few beers and some of that wine you like so much.”
“Are you trying to woo me?” Michael asked with a grin.
“Why would I need to do that? I already have you, don’t I?”
“Yeah,” Michael smiled, walking towards him slowly. He touched the collar of the coat that Brian had on, smoothing it and feeling like a smitten high school kid again. “Yeah you do.”
Brian grinned down at him, dropping the bag on the floor as one hand drew a path down his cheek and the other pulled at his hip to bring him closer. Pulling him into a fierce hug. Justin coming up behind him, hands resting loosely on his hips as he joined it.
Brian pulled away, kissed him gently, picked up the bag from where he’d dropped it and grinned. “So lets go home then.”
******************************************************************************
And one more time just for good measure: This is a threesome fic, which means that the pairings include Michael/Brian/Justin and any or all variations of the three. Which also means if you don't like Michael or Brian or Justin then you probably will not like this series.
Feedback is welcome, flames will be happily ignored. It's getting cold, I can use them to keep warm.
The first of three sequels to Love, Faith, Truth…
Brian would remember the car ride to the hospital for the rest of his life.
TITLE: Truth – Michael/Brian/Justin
SERIES: The Secret Life of Michael Charles Novotney
Author: Melanie
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing at all, least of all those contained within.
A series of three stories, the same events told from three different points of view.
Read Love, Faith and Truth first.
Aftermath
Brian would remember the car ride to the hospital for the rest of his life.
He would remember every millisecond of terror that he felt, and he’d remember Lindsay driving like she was trying out for an Indy car race, horn beeping, ignoring the posted speed limit for probably the first time in her entire life.
Every so often her hand would come out to touch his and he’d look over at her with what he was sure were blank eyes.
They couldn’t be anything else because he felt totally dead inside.
Mikey… he finally had Mikey and Justin and pretty much everything that he thought he’d never get and someone was trying to take it all away from him.
The car jerked as Lindsay slammed on the brakes, her movements’ jerky with agitation as she shoved the car into park and turned it off. Key clasped in her hand he didn’t even have the energy to yell at her when she slammed the door.
His own movements felt sluggish and a pit of dread was pooling in his stomach, he didn’t want to go inside. What if…
No. Michael would never leave him without saying goodbye.
He needed to find out who had done this so he could personally annihilate them. He didn’t give a flying fuck what anyone else wanted.
Nobody touched or hurt what was his.
He opened the door with new determination; he only remembered the seat belt that Linds had fastened on him when he found he couldn’t move.
A half a movement and he was free from the belt and Lindsay was half yanking him from the car, one hand tight on his arm like she was afraid he would flee given the opportunity.
Which would never happen, because the only way to find out what had happened; who had hurt Michael was to go into that big gray building.
Plus Mikey was in there and there was no way in hell that Michael was going to open those pretty, beguiling eyes of his and not find either him or Justin or both of them at his bedside.
But of course Lindsay didn’t know that and with a grip that he was pretty sure was bruising his arm she practically pulled him the distance towards the entrance to the Emergency room.
He wondered if she was holding Gus with the some bruising hold that she currently had him in.
He wondered if Melanie was aware that Lindsay was this freakishly strong.
This was his own personal version of hell Brian decided.
In some previous life, hell probably sometime in this one, he'd pissed off the man up above so badly that every few years, as punishment, he had to sit in a hospital waiting to see if someone he cared about was going to live or die.
He was really getting tired of it and if the thought of going to church didn't make him shudder in revulsion he might actually consider going just to get him to lighten up a bit and leave the people he loved alone.
He touched Justin's soft hair, running it through his fingers almost absently, last time he'd had Michael to hold on to while Justin fought to live. This time he had Justin… and with the change in their relationship Justin had him.
If he'd ever needed proof that Justin cared about, loved Michael as much as he did him it would be the fact that even hours later his shoulder was just starting to dry from being soaked with Justin's tears.
Justin himself had curled up in the chairs, head in Brian's lap a few hours earlier. Every so often his body would jerk, most likely the antiseptic smell of the hospital forcing him to relive his own nightmare of a stay. Brian stroked his head and shoulders till the nightmares abated.
He had his own nightmares of Justin's stay here.
He should have insisted on him going home with Debbie and Vic, at least then he would have slept in a soft bed and hopefully had a few hours of sleep, not interrupted by the nightmares. But he'd insisted that if Brian was going to stay than so was he. He'd frowned and muttered that he wasn't going to have Michael waking up thinking that Brian cared more than he did just because he was a fucking insomniac and stayed.
Brian had devised a system in the four days that they'd sat here waiting for any word on a change in Michael's condition.
Once an hour, until visiting hours ended at nine, they'd be allowed into the ICU to see Michael for ten minutes. Together because Justin had pitched a fit when they tried to send them separately, Brian just nodding in agreement as he'd incoherently mumbled that Michael needed to know that they were there for him together.
Brian knew that the truth of the matter was that Justin was terrified to go into that room and see Michael lying there still and lifeless by himself. That it brought back to many memories that he didn't want. So they went together, stood together. Touching Michael where they could, where they wouldn't knock the very things that were keeping Michael alive off.
When they were unceremoniously ushered out by whichever nurse happened to be on duty, sometimes by their ears, he'd look into the room where Jessie Abbott, the comic book collector that had been in the wrong place at the wrong time was lying unconscious. She had no family that had come forward whereas Michael's fought for every second of their precious ten minutes with him. It had seemed only fair that someone look in and make sure she was still at least there.
He didn't stay long with her, just made sure that all her machines were beeping the way that he hoped they were supposed to. He didn't know her, but he knew Michael. If she died Michael would blame himself.
When he came out of Jessie's room he'd make sure that the armed guard that the F.B.I. had posted at their doors was still there.
He didn't know why they were there, why there were agents with guns wandering around looking like someone had lined up and shot every single one of their puppies… all he did know was that it made him feel just a bit better to know that someone was watching out for Michael when he couldn't.
It had been four days and there had been no change in Michael's condition except that he was once more breathing on his own and would in a few hours be moved to his own room. A room that they'd be allowed to stay in with him and not be ushered out by their ears every ten minutes.
Jessie had been upgraded to stable.
Neither one had woken since the shooting.
Some small part of him wondered if they ever would. That same part wondered why the F.B.I was so interested in a small town attempted robbery.
Justin came awake with a harsh breath and a shout that he barely managed to restrain. Before his eyes could even pry themselves open he felt Brian's hand on his forehead. Soothing touch, gentle words that to his terrified mind made no sense.
He felt Brian shift him on the cot and he turned so that he could bury his head in his lap. Inhaling deeply to bring Brian's scent into himself, wrapping his arms in an awkward angle around Brian's torso to hold him tightly.
Brian's fingers brushed through his hair calming him and when he finally relaxed enough to open his eyes he had to blink rapidly to keep the tears back.
It had been six days and he was tired of crying.
"I'm okay," he cleared his throat as he released his hold on Brian; he'd been clinging to Brian since this had all happened and he suddenly wondered who Brian had been clinging to.
A snort from Brian let him know that his statement wasn't believed for a second.
He hated the hospital, hated the sounds and the smells. He hated the nurses and doctors who were trying to help but still couldn't seem to tell them why Michael wouldn't wake up.
And most of all he hated the way that it made him tremble uncontrollably and have nightmares of his own barely remembered stay.
Brian had been with him then he knew. Michael had even been there for a short time before Brian had sent him away to go to David. He wondered if Brian had ever regretted doing that, sending Michael away and not keeping him in the Pitt's with him.
Michael had come back but Justin wondered where they would be if he hadn't.
A glance over at the bed showed Michael in the same position he'd been in when he'd fallen asleep. A still, pale figure in the bed.
A glance at the door showed the back of the armed guard that the F.B.I. had stationed outside the door.
He knew that Brian had tried to talk to the agents about why they were so interested in the robbery… he also knew that Brian had been frustrated as hell when he'd been told it was classified. Part of him wondered if it had anything to do with the phone calls that Michael had been getting.
But then he would laugh because the idea of Michael being involved in anything illegal, with the exception of the drugs from the backroom of Babylon was insane.
Plus he got the feeling that these agents that rotated in six hours shifts were protecting him from something, not keeping him from escaping once he woke up.
That feeling might have come from the fact that they'd all but ripped the investigation from the local police departments' hands without a by your leave, Carl had been infuriated.
The fact that they'd caught the shooter almost immediately had been the only thing that had mollified him.
But it still didn't explain why, if the robber had been caught, and hadn't taken anything to begin with, Michael and the girl had agents standing guard outside their doors.
He wondered if Michael would be able to tell them when he woke up.
"Why don't you go wash up," Brian let him go ruffling his hair as he stood and stretched slightly. Justin licked his lips at the tiny sliver of skin that was exposed when his t-shirt rode up. It had been seven days since Brian had fucked him. Longer since Michael had. "I'm going to get some coffee."
"What time is it?" Justin rubbed a hand over his face, willing his body back under control.
"Almost nine, the munchers'll be here with Gus in 30 minutes so…" Brian arched a brow and Justin nodded.
Deb had been supportive, but she'd needed her own support and neither Brian nor Justin who would normally be that support when something happened to Michael was in the position to give it to her.
Their main source of support had come from Lindsay and surprisingly enough Melanie. They took care of them, they made sure they ate and slept and wandered outside (even though Brian would only go as far as the roof and wouldn't explain why) and Melanie didn't even once complain. Her eyes were always soft and sad. It was easy to forget with the animosity between Brian and Mel that Michael and Melanie had actually gotten along.
They'd almost had a child together, and a fluke accident in her fourth month was the only reason that Gus didn't have the sibling he wanted.
Brian smiled down at him indulgently, posing slightly. Justin frowned; Brian knew him to damn well. Justin wanted sex and Brian knew it.
"I'm going, I'm going… Like its going to scar either Lindsay or Mel if they find me in my boxers and a t-shirt," he muttered under his breath.
"That cute little body hon you'll be lucky if you don't turn them straight," Michael's morning nurse bustled in, pinched Brian on the ass, smirked at Justin when Brian jumped and then laughed as Brian mumbled and fled.
For some reason Nurse Tepper scared the living hell out of Brian.
"I think I gave you maybe ten minutes," she grinned conspiratorially at him. She straightened Michael's sheets (Brian liked to climb up in the bed next to him, he thought Justin didn't know, Justin did the same thing… he was pretty sure that Brian knew), checked his chart and monitors, touched his forehead.
"I think today might be the day," she smiled brightly at him.
"Today?" he asked with wide eyes. "You think he'll wake up today?" he clarified, just in case she was talking about something else.
"Well," she glanced at the bed once more, touched Michael's forehead gently. "It could be tomorrow, but if I had to I'd put money on sometime today."
Justin grinned, the first real grin that he'd managed since Michael had been shot.
Nurse Tepper scared Brian, but Justin adored her.
"You're wasting time sweetie," she winked at him and bustled out. She gave him precious minutes alone with Michael.
Which he was wasting standing here just staring at him.
He was by the bed in a second, settling on the sheets that she'd just straightened. He had a system to the way he did this, he kissed Michael's forehead first, then his both his eyes, his nose, both cheeks and then a soft lingering kiss on his lips.
He was warmer than usual and maybe that's what Nurse Tepper had noticed.
And then he started, they'd been told before they'd been allowed in to see Michael the first time that talking to him was a good thing, telling him what was going on in their lives. Reminding him that his place in their lives was important and he was irreplaceable.
So that was Justin talked about.
He talked about everyone and everything but he only had ten minutes so he most especially talked about Brian. Because Brian was the center of their universe and everything that they were, both separately and together, revolved in some way around Brian.
The one thing he didn't talk about, that he really wanted to talk about, was love. It was time to say the words, long past time Justin thought but it was also a conversation that was only going to be held when Michael could participate in it.
"I miss you," he whispered softly. He ran a finger down the line of his cheek and then leaning forward he pressed a final soft kiss to Michael's lips. Drawing back he felt Brian's hands on his shoulders pulling him into a loose embrace. Resting his chin on Justin's shoulder as they rocked slowly back and forth.
"It's going to be okay you know," Brian murmured in his ear.
"Nurse Tepper thinks he's going to wake up today," Justin countered.
"And it'd be about damn time," Brian grumbled. "So which one of us is going to play Prince Charming and wake him up?"
It had been really dark for a very long time Michael decided, but when he'd finally opened his eyes it had been far too bright so he'd had to close them again.
He could feel a warm presence by his side, someone holding his hand, squeezing every so often. Warm lips on his forehead and the soft hum of familiar voices talking above him.
Brian and Justin.
He relaxed and let their voices wash over him. Taking stock of his own body while he half-dozed in what he realized was some drug- induced sort of sleep.
He hurt he decided. All over. It took barely a second to remember what had happened and when he did he cringed.
The shooting, the list compromised… Jessie.
He twisted slightly to move closer to the warm body against his right side, it had to be Brian he decided. Although it might be Justin, he just had a feeling it was Brian. That Justin was the one holding his hand tightly.
It might be the last time that Brian let him this close when he found out what had happened. He drew a deep breath, definitely Brian. His scent was familiar in a way that not many things were.
"Mikey?" Brian's voice was trembling.
"Michael?" Justin's voice this time, also trembling. A hand on his face, fingers rubbing in a whisper of a caress over his closed eyes.
"Open your eyes Mikey," Brian's voice ordered. It had lost the trembling and taken on the sure confidence that Michael always associated with his best friend, with his lover. And Michael didn't disobey orders when they came from Brian.
He opened his eyes slowly, blinking to clear hazy vision. He closed them again when the brightness of the room got to be too much, a quiet word from Brian and Justin moved away.
When he managed to force his eyes open once more the lights in the room had been dimmed and his eyes focused much more rapidly on the two men before him.
Justin's beatific face, eyes filled with tears that were about to fall any second.
Brian was grinning, a full out, full blown smile that was so filled with relief that Michael wondered exactly how worried Brian had been.
Shifting on the bed his face twisted in pain and Brian's hands stilled his movements. He really hadn't wanted to move in the first place, he'd just wanted to get a closer look at Brian's face. At the bags under his eyes, the lines that were prevalent on both his lovers faces.
"I just…" he mumbled, hand waving slightly.
"It's okay…" Brian murmured, he pulled Michael closer to his body, shifted slightly so that Justin leaned into him. Both of their hands touching his. Their fingers linking together in some intricate fashion that left him wondering if they'd ever be able to separate them again.
He rested his head on Brian's shoulder, closing his eyes as he felt Brian's lips on his forehead.
"Hiya Mikey."
He hadn’t given much thought to what his mothers’ reaction would be when he woke up. He’d actually been just a bit more preoccupied with the fact that it appeared as if Brian had totally given up on sleeping and Justin looked like he’d been living in a perpetual nightmare and the fact that there was a guard outside his door that was definitely F.B.I. and definitely carrying a gun.
He really didn’t like guns right at the moment.
But if he’d had to guess at what his mothers reaction would be though he would have thought she’d be happy to see him.
Debbie Novotney was grateful that her son was alive, thankful that no permanent damage had been done and currently trying her damnedest to kill him.
“Ma you’re strangling me,” Michael finally managed to get out, he couldn’t raise his arms to ward her off, he didn’t even have the strength to raise his arms.
Brian and Justin just grinned at each other wildly (and while he was glad that they were amused he’d prefer it if they were amused at something other than his attempted murder), he’d so make them pay for that later, when he felt better.
Together they managed to peal Debbie off of her son and instead set her in one of the chairs by the bed.
Justin returning to his side of the bed, Brian going to return to his only to have Deb neatly knock his hand out of the way so she could link her fingers with Michael’s instead.
Brian scowled, cradling his hand to his chest and went to stand next to Justin, sitting on the corner of his chair and laying his hand over Michael and Justin’s joined ones. They hadn’t really let go of him since he’d woken up.
“Don’t you ever do that to me again,” Deb ordered, her voice was gentle but her eyes were filled with steel. If he’d not been lying in a hospital bed she probably would have smacked him.
“I didn’t do it on purpose,” Michael said softly. His eyes wandered to the door where the back of his guard was visible.
Simon had snuck in that morning when Justin had been calling everyone they knew and Brian had been badgering the doctors and nurses incessantly about making sure that Michael was as comfortable as possible.
Which to Brian meant drugs, drugs and more drugs to combat the pain Michael was in. Michael didn’t really mind the pain all that much, it was annoying and yeah he hurt all over but he was also alive. He’d take some pain (not much because he knew his own limits) over death any day.
Now that they knew that the list compromised had indeed included Michael’s name guards, Simon insisted, were a necessity.
For both him and Jessie.
And he’d been given leave to tell Brian and Justin whatever he needed to in order to make sure that they didn’t interfere with the guards’ protection of him, at least that’s what he thought Simons, “they’re going to need to know what’s going on or they’re going to be really suspicious when a guard shows up outside your door at 3 am because one of you is screaming.”
It could have been the drugs though, he’d thought Simon was Elmer Fudd for about three minutes, and really there was absolutely no likeness so yeah… the drugs.
But since he’d been planning on doing it anyway, especially since people were trying to kill him and it would be nice if the men that he loved knew why he had a fucking bull’s-eye painted on his back all of a sudden, he thought it was a nice gesture to have the yeah, sure go ahead, ignore National Security, from the man that brought him into the life in the first place.
Either that or he’d like people to stop trying to kill him. But since that didn’t seem like it was going to happen any time soon…
And then he wondered if he would need guards to protect him from Brian when he told him the truth.
He hadn’t seen Brian really mad in a while. It was probably time.
“You don’t even want to know how worried I was,” Debbie continued. Her eyes filled with tears and she dabbed at them with the wad of Kleenexes that Justin handed over to her. Justin had a seemingly bottomless supply somewhere on his person.
If Michael had been feeling better he would have insisted on a full body search, as it was he felt like shit and he’d supervise while Brian did it… once everyone left of course.
He shifted uncomfortably in the bed, ignoring his mothers’ worried gaze. After a few seconds of watching him not get into the position that he wanted Brian finally gave in and helped him move, of course the moving made him tired again and his eyes drooped slightly as he fought off sleep.
He’d only been able to stay awake for about 30 minutes at a time. He hoped it was a temporary thing.
He squeezed Justin’s hand to let him know that he knew he was still there.
He was never getting shot ever again. Because it sucked, he couldn’t do anything.
No sex, no hugging, no nothing. Because just thinking about those things made him happy and then horny and then he wanted to cut out the parts of himself that ached and just sleep til he was all healed.
He blinked rapidly, widening his eyes as he felt the drowsiness hit him once more. Twisting his head to look over at Brian and Justin helplessly.
The doctors had said that he’d sleep a lot, told him that it was better for his body and for his healing if he didn’t fight it.
The doctor had obviously never been in the same room as his mother, Brian, and Justin before. These were the three people that he would do anything to spend time with.
Brian brushed his hand over his forehead, pressing a gentle kiss there. Michael let his eyes drift closed and leaned into the touch, squeezing Justin’s hand once more.
“Go to sleep Mikey,” Brian’s voice was a quiet order. “We’ll be here when you wake up.”
Michael smiled softly and then his body rushed to obey the order.
He knew he wasn’t alone before he opened his eyes.
He knew he wasn’t alone and he knew that the person in the room with him was neither Brian nor Justin, and definitely wasn’t his mother because she’d kissed him goodbye hours earlier.
He didn’t move a muscle on the bed, didn’t do anything to alert his intruder that he was awake. Although he really wished that Brian hadn’t moved the call button for the nurses’ station so he could lay down next to him.
As nice as that had been it would have been even better if he could call someone to come in and remove this person who so obviously did not belong.
Michael let his eyes open into slits and waited for them to become accustomed to the dark. He sighed as if still asleep and twisted on the bed.
A man, to the left, Justin’s side was doing something to his IV.
Not a nurse, he knew all his nurses. They were all females and all smitten to some degree with Brian. One had lamented that it just wasn’t far that someone that gorgeous be gay.
“This is poison,” the voice was soft and Michael wasn’t sure if he was talking because he knew he was awake or just to hear his own voice. It would just figure that he would get a talkative assassin. “It’s very painless, very quick; you shouldn’t feel anything at all. You’ll end up wishing that I’d been first… of course you’ll be dead so it won’t matter.”
Michael concentrated on breathing evenly.
He wondered where Brian and Justin were, they very rarely left his side for more than a few minutes, and normally they didn’t leave together anyway.
He wondered where the guard that Simon had posted at his door was, the one that was needed because supposedly there had been people still trying to kill him. Like the man that was currently injecting something he probably didn’t want into his IV bag.
Well that wouldn’t do at all.
Because the quick glimpse he’d gotten of this man indicated that he wasn’t wearing a nurses uniform and one of those white lab coats or really anything that would say that he should be in this room doing something to anyone’s medical equipment.
He felt the brush of hand over his face and he gathered his strength. Because no one touched him but Brian and Justin, and they plus all those other people he loved would never forgive him if he just lay there helplessly and let this guy kill him.
He pushed up and away from the bed, feeling the needle of his IV rip from his hand and the wires that were attached to his chest to monitor his heart rate and other shit give way.
Distantly, as if it was happening to someone else, he could hear the beeps of his monitors turn into that tone that he only knew from TV shows that indicated that someone was dead or in the process of dying and damn that would be annoying if he wasn’t concentrating on the surprised grunt from his attempted assassin and hoping that he didn’t have a gun or knife or something.
That would really suck.
He knew that his burst of strength wouldn’t last long and he hoped that the guard would realize that something was very wrong, or the nurses would hear that annoying sound and come running with like electric paddles or something or that Brian and Justin would miss him and come back.
Justin didn’t know what terrified him more… walking back towards Michael’s room and seeing Simon James, the F.B.I. guy running from the opposite direction with gun drawn or hearing the Code Blue followed by Michael’s room number being shouted out from the nurses’ station.
He ran, hoping that Brian had opted to not call Lindsay and request Gus’ presence the next day and had instead gone back to Michael’s room.
He hoped that Michael had gotten a roommate in the last ten minutes and that was who the Code Blue had been called for. And then he felt bad for wishing somebody else dead so he amended it and hoped that Michael had just had a nightmare or something and torn off his wires.
That still didn’t explain Simon and his gun out though and fear seized him.
They’d just gotten Michael back…
When he got to the Michael’s room, a mere second behind Simon the last thing he expected to see was Michael crumpled on the floor, disheveled and bloody.
Blood on his hand from where it looked like his IV had been torn from his skin, blood on his hospital gown.
Simon had another man in a chokehold, while that guard that had been at the door when they left alternately rubbed at his head and pulled out his handcuffs.
“Are you okay?” Simon’s voice was low and soft and directed right towards Michael with an air of familiarity that Justin didn’t remember from their previous conversations.
Simon had always seemed really detached, like he was just doing his job and could really care less about Michael at all.
This was actually the first time in a week that Justin could remember seeing him express any type of emotion. And Simon was pissed.
So was Justin. They’d left Michael alone for ten minutes because he’d been sleeping and Justin had wanted to call his mother and let her know how Michael was, and Brian needed coffee or he was going to be lying in the bed next to Michael sleeping the sleep of a man who hadn’t slept in over a week.
Like Rip Van Winkle, except without the beard.
How the hell could Michael have gotten himself into trouble in ten fucking minutes?
“Fine,” Michael wheezed arms wrapped around his body protectively, rolling onto his side. “I’m fine…”
Justin was from his position by the door and at Michael’s side before the thought even entered his mind that this was all very strange. He pulled Michael into his arms, thankful that the other man was closer to his size than Brian was, if Brian had been the one lying in a pain filled mass on the floor Justin would never have been able to do this.
Wouldn’t be able to wrap his arms around him and hold him while a nurse unceremoniously pushed the flap of his gown aside, bearing Michael to public view. At least he was wearing the Rage boxers that Justin had got him as an impromptu one month anniversary sort of thing.
It had been a private thing between him and Michael because Brian would have laughed at them and called them lesbians. Michael had gotten him the new graphics program that he’d wanted for the computer, the one that had cost an arm and a leg and that Justin had seriously been considering selling a kidney to get his hands on.
The nurse hmmed for a second, poking and prodding at Michael’s wound while Michael groaned and winced and tried to twist away from her.
Justin drew a deep breath, holding him steady. Trying to think positive thoughts. Brian was much better at this being strong for Michael thing than he was but Justin was learning.
He just hoped and prayed that Michael couldn’t feel the remnants of his terror and kissed his neck softly. A hand rubbed down his side to soothe him, he’d watched Brian do this enough for both him and Michael that he should be able to pull it off.
Michael semi-relaxing was very gratifying.
“Is he okay?” Simon’s voice was more urgent as he hauled the guy that Michael had obviously been in some sort of altercation with, and what kind of asshole fought with a guy that had just got out of a coma and still had the whole gunshot wound thing going on?
“He ripped out some staples, a few stitches,” the nurse announced. “He’ll be okay.”
“You’re sure?”
“He put something in the IV,” Michael mumbled leaning heavily into Justin, grasping at his hand, pulling his gown closed with a nasty look at the nurse.
“What was in the IV?” Justin asked softly, he rubbed his face against Michael’s hair.
Michael was silent for a minute and Justin for just a second thought that maybe he’d passed out… or gone back to sleep.
“What did he do to your IV?” Simon’s voice was steel filled and Justin looked up noticing that he was kneeling directly in front of Michael now. Staring at him like he knew him and not like someone who had just days before been called in because of a robbery / attempted murder.
“He put some kind of poison in it,” Michael whispered, he tried to pull out of Justin’s arms but Justin held fast. He didn’t understand what was being said, but he knew that whatever it was… it was bad and Michael was scared.
“Are you sure?” Simon asked, Michael didn’t say anything and Justin was no longer surprised when Simon reached out to touch him. Simon obviously knew Michael after all.
He wondered vaguely how Jessie fit into all of this, she had guards to. He wondered if anyone had thought to check and see if someone had tried to kill her as well.
Then scowled as he watched Simon tilt Michael’s head up with a gentle hand, and Justin would have given just about anything to know both what the hell was going on and how Michael knew this F.B.I. guy in the first place. “Are you sure?” he asked again.
Michael nodded slowly. “He told me, he was kind of… talkative, I don’t know if he knew I was awake or if he was just you know… tooting his own horn.”
“Nobody better be tooting your horn unless it’s me or Justin, Mikey,” Justin’s head flew up at the same time Michael’s did and he winced when they collided. Brian stood in the doorway looking pissed off as all hell. “Does someone want to tell me what the hell is going on here?”
Michael stood on the roof alone, blanket wrapped tightly around him, staring at nothing.
“You lied to me.”
He closed his eyes, drawing the blanket a little tighter, he felt totally numb inside. Like someone had reached in and tore out his heart and soul.
“I need to not be here right now.”
He felt the tears welling up and banished them; he had no reason to be upset. He’d known this would happen. Known that Brian would be angry and hurt, he’d known that he’d walk away.
He hadn’t known the despair he would feel watching it. Justin had left to go after him, and as much as he’d wanted Justin to stay with him… well Brian had first claim on his heart and Brian was who he should be with.
He felt warm all over, even though the Pitt’s was going through a cold snap and snow blew all around him. Was it just because he was so numb?
He imagined that downstairs Simon and the guards were probably going insane looking for him, he hadn’t told anyone where he was going. That was dumb he knew, but Brian and Justin were gone, Jessie was dead.
What was left?
He heard the soft creak of the door open and his spine stiffened. A trickle of fear, a hint of warmth against his legs that tickled something in the back of his mind. It was gone when he turned around.
A man standing there, gun in hand, a wry expression on his face.
He didn’t say anything and Michael just waited. And watched as he lifted the gun, pointing it at him.
He closed his eyes and waited. Waited for pain, for the inevitable shot, for the loud rushing noise that came with it.
He waited.
And waited.
“Mikey…” his face twisted in confusion and he had to stop himself from cracking an eye open. Because that sounded like… Brian. The guy that was going to kill him sounded like Brian; there was some sort of irony going on here that he didn’t think he wanted to get.
“Mikey, wake up,” a sing song and he stiffened. Warmth behind him, a cautious hand flung out connecting with a bare shoulder. A chuckle from Brian and… Justin.
Brian was in front of him and Justin was behind him and the only part of him that hurt was his heart… and his face.
It felt like he’d been crying forever. His eyes felt swollen, his entire face felt like he’d been rubbing sandpaper against it. Not that he’d ever done that before but he imagined if he had that his face would feel exactly the way it did at that moment.
He opened his eyes a crack, half expecting to see the roof and snow and a man with a gun, instead he saw Brian watching him with a worried expression, and realized that he was in his old apartment.
Memories came rushing back and he closed his eyes against the proof of Brian’s worry, Brian should never look like that, should never be sad or depressed, he should always be happy. He hated seeing Brian like this; he hated knowing what had put that look there in the first place.
It had been a dream? A dream that felt so real that he could still feel where he remembered being shot, could still feel the pain and misery that had flooded him when Brian and Justin had walked away.
He closed his eyes and turned his head into his pillow. That wasn’t why he was here though, that wasn’t why he was huddled on the bed in his old apartment. Tears leaked from the corner of one eye and Brian brushed them away with a gentle touch of his thumb.
Pressing his forehead against Michael’s in silent communion, a seemingly age old act that he would never get tired of. That was his and his alone. Justin had his pressed to a shoulder blade, something that was new that he also wouldn’t get tired of.
Not until they got tired of him.
“Oh Mikey,” Brian’s arms wrapped tightly around him and Michael’s whole body shook with silent sobs. The remnants of his dream fading away in the face of his misery.
Ben would have told him that the dream was his minds way of dealing with circumstances that had spiraled out of his control
Ben was dead.
“How…?” he pulled Brian impossibly closer, one hand on Justin’s hip to bring him tighter against his back.
“Your mother was worried, and since we kind of assumed that you’d be coming home seeing as how you’ve been gone for two fucking months, when she called to tell us that you had her drop you off here, and you are getting rid of this place out at the first possible opportunity, and no,” Brian neatly cut off Michael’s objection. “The next time an ex-lover wants to borrow you because he’s on his death bed I’m not going to be traipsing around the city looking for you.”
“I didn’t go traipsing anywhere,” Michael muttered.
“Whatever, the apartment goes. You live at the loft now,” Brian stared at the closet absently. “Do you even still have any clothes here?”
“I had my duffel bag,” Michael said under his breath.
“Anyway so where was I?... Oh yeah, Deb called to tell us that you had her drop you here so we decided to come and get you ourselves. God only knows how long you’d wallow here blaming yourself for the Professor if we let you,” Brian stroked his hair softly, the softness of his touch belying the tone of his words.
Brian wasn’t angry he was scared. Michael knew him enough to know the difference. And besides the gentle touching was the same motion that he’d seen Brian use on Gus after the boy had a nightmare or the way he caressed Justin’s after one of his.
Brian was trying to soothe and comfort him in the only way he thought he knew how.
“I just…” Michael turned his head deeper into the pillow. Remembering the reason why he’d come here instead of going to the loft. “Ben said that he asked you to take care of me,” he mumbled.
Brian was silent and his hand stilled on Michael’s head, holding him in place against him when he would have moved away. Justin’s hand was a steady presence on his hip. Neither let him go, neither moved away.
“He did,” Brian said softly, and Michael couldn’t tell if he was confirming or denying it. Justin kissed the back of his neck, his hand maneuvering its way under the t-shirt that Michael had fallen onto the bed wearing.
“Is that what this is?” Michael asked softly, eyes still closed. Definitely not wanting to hear the answer, but needing to as well. If Brian and Justin had brought him into their bed out of some misguided sense of responsibility or worse pity he really didn’t think he could take it.
That was the whole reason he’d kept the apartment in the first place after all. So he’d have someplace to go when things inevitably ended. Because they always did.
“Is that what what is?” Justin’s lips moved against the back of his neck and Michael fought to keep from shivering.
“Is that what this is…you know us… is this your way of taking care of me, because I’m pretty sure its not what Ben had in mind.”
Brian laughed and he could feel Justin’s lips curving into a smile. “I’m pretty sure that the Professor asked me to make sure that you ate and slept and didn’t wander around beating yourself up because he didn’t want you to watch him die, I’m almost positive that he didn’t ask me to seduce you into our bed at the first available opportunity.”
“You aren’t with us because we pity you or want to save you,” Justin added quietly. “You’re there because Brian planned it all out.”
Michael’s eyes opened in surprise and he drew away so that he could look up at his best friend.
“Well I was bored,” Brian shrugged nonchalantly. Not the least bit ashamed.
“You planned it?” Michael asked incredulously. “Were you in on this?” he twisted his head to look at Justin and the younger man shook his head, taking the opportunity to kiss Michael while he was there.
“Sunshine was not involved in any of the planning… in fact he almost messed up the entire thing,” Brian grumbled.
Both Michael and Justin turned to him with confused expressions. Because they’d ended up together that night, and Justin had initiated the whole thing.
“How do you figure?” Michael asked, running the night through his mind. Hitting all the highlights just because he could.
“I was the one that was supposed to be doing all the seducing.”
“Brian doesn’t like it when people take control of situations out of his hands,” Justin murmured into Michael’s ear, licking it and then laughing as Brian swatted him upside the head.
“All right, are we done here? Because this bed? Is a twin and really is not made for three people, my bed is much bigger and Justin and I have been planning for your return for over a week, so we’ve got enough condoms and lube for about six months,” Brian sat up abruptly, legs kicking over the side of the bed as he stood. He stretched slightly and Michael knew that Brian was pushing their buttons.
They both had too many where Brian was concerned and he knew where most of them were located.
“You don’t have any plans do you?” Brian continued, seemingly oblivious to the fact that neither Michael nor Justin was paying the least bit of attention to his words and were instead focusing on his stomach, and the prominent bulge in the front of his jeans that let them know that laying in close proximity to the both of them had not left him unaffected.
It was gratifying to know that they had the same reaction on him that he had on them.
“Huh?” Michael muttered absently, licking his lips. He had a feeling that behind him Justin was doing the same exact thing.
“That’s what I thought,” Brian smirked. “Get up and let’s go… sex awaits and before you say anything,” he held up a hand as Michael opened his mouth. “We’re not having it here, the beds not big enough and we’ll just end up hurting ourselves and then someone will have to go without, so…” he pulled the comforter that Michael had wrapped around himself off, tossing it on the floor, laughing at the grumble from Michael before he left the room.
“Are you okay?” Justin asked quietly as Michael lay on his back, staring at the ceiling. They could hear Brian out in the living room doing… something very loudly.
“I’ll be okay,” Michael said softly.
Justin turned on his side, resting his hand palm down on Michael’s stomach.
“He won’t say it but he was kind of worried,” Justin confided. “If Deb hadn’t called and told us where she’d dropped you off he would have probably called the police.”
“They require you to be missing for twenty-four hours before they’ll file a missing persons report.”
“Michael you’ve been gone for two months, he would have lied if it would have found you faster…” Justin laid his head on Michael’s shoulder and Michael wrapped an arm around him. “You seem out of sorts, did something happen before…”
Michael closed his eyes, before Ben died. “I just had a strange dream, that’s all.”
“Really, tell me about it.” Justin perked up with interest peering up into Michael’s face. “Was I in it?”
Michael laughed, ruffling his hair. “Yeah you were and maybe later.”
“Brian?”
“I don’t think I’ve had a dream that didn’t include Brian in one form or another since I was fourteen.”
“Don’t tell Brian that,” Justin advised. “His egos big enough as it is.”
“My egos just fine,” Brian appeared in the doorway, coat already on and Michael’s duffel bag in his hand. “You know if you two aren’t interested in sex you can just tell me, Babylon opens in approximately two hours…”
Justin flew from the bed, Michael right behind him.
“That’s what I thought,” Brian smirked. “So are we ready then? Because I think I mentioned the condom and lubes, and there might be some candles and a few beers and some of that wine you like so much.”
“Are you trying to woo me?” Michael asked with a grin.
“Why would I need to do that? I already have you, don’t I?”
“Yeah,” Michael smiled, walking towards him slowly. He touched the collar of the coat that Brian had on, smoothing it and feeling like a smitten high school kid again. “Yeah you do.”
Brian grinned down at him, dropping the bag on the floor as one hand drew a path down his cheek and the other pulled at his hip to bring him closer. Pulling him into a fierce hug. Justin coming up behind him, hands resting loosely on his hips as he joined it.
Brian pulled away, kissed him gently, picked up the bag from where he’d dropped it and grinned. “So lets go home then.”
Confused
Date: 2003-11-20 12:03 am (UTC)