PATD: Blue Rock - 1/? - Gen for Now
Jul. 16th, 2009 06:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
laniew1Yeah, I don’t even know… and I’m not sure of the pairing at the moment, I apologize. This can probably be considered fix-it fic for the split… eventually.
More Constants, maybe Saturday. Next up Gerard & Frank.
RATING: PG-13
PAIRING: Ryan/?
AUTHOR: Melanie
WARNINGS: This didn’t happen?
DISCLAIMER: I don’t own any of these boys. If you recognize your name press the back button right on out.
Chapter 1
Then:
Brent takes Ryan for a walk when Jon Walker brings Brendon back to van drunk and barely able to keep his feet under him.
Ryan probably would have chosen Spencer to wander the outskirts of the bus area with, but Spencer had lost three rounds of rock-paper-scissors so Brent got to not deal with Brendon.
They’re just walking, Ryan has found a stick somewhere and is sort of waving it the ground in front of him.
He automatically reaches out a hand when Ryan stumbles.
“New feet?” he grins and Ryan just looks at the ground.
“There’s something…” he kneels so Brent does as well. There’s a blue rock, it looks dirty, like it’s been there a while, but you can still see the blue under the dirty.
They reach out to touch it at the same time, when Ryan pulls his hand away his fingers are streaked with a blue dust.
“This better not be some kind of sex pollen egg rock thing,” Brent laughs. “Because I like you…”
“But not like that,” Ryan grins at him, one of the few that he’s managed in the last couple of days since Brendon has discovered alcohol.
“And does that even happen in real life?” Ryan adds as he carefully picks the rock egg thing up, Brent stands and wipes his own fingers on his jeans.
It has to be getting close to a laundry day, he thinks, if they go to much longer his jeans are going to be able to walk without him in them and he’s pretty sure that’s not supposed to happen in real life either.
They walk back to the bus, Ryan holding the rock egg thing with both hands.
“You know if that’s really an egg whatever’s inside is most likely dead, right?”
“I think it’s pretty,” Ryan says. “If it starts smelling I’ll just blame it on Brendon’s socks until it doesn’t.”
Brent laughs and they walk.
When they get back to the van Brendon is passed out in the backseat and Spencer looks like he’d like nothing better then to kill each and every one of them.
Brent forgets all about the rock egg thing.
******************************************************************************
Now:
Ryan is pretty sure he’s going insane.
It’s not normal to look at Brendon and hear ‘I hate every word, every word, why can’t you write something that I want to sing’, or look at Spencer and hear ‘autopay, come on its not a new concept’ and ‘you’re an adult I should at least be able to trust that I’ll be able to leave you alone for three days and not find you with no power or food’.
The alcohol dulls the voices so that he can’t hear them, but that doesn’t last for very long and eventually the voices are back and Brendon’s is even louder, even angrier, as is Spencer’s. And there’s other voices chiming in as well, making their presence known.
Keltie’s voice is disappointed in him, ‘what’s he waiting for? There should be a ring, we already have Hobo, I don’t want to start a family without one, maybe that’s the push that he needs’.
He calls a friend, someone vague and enough distance away that he can’t ‘hear’ them and asks them for a favor.
It takes three weeks for Keltie to pick up his sidekick and he waits for her to see through it, but instead she takes it at face value and they’re done.
He comes out looking like the bad guy, like a hypocrite, but he can’t…
He’s going crazy and he can’t take Keltie with him, can’t have kids that he might make crazy just by virtue of their being his.
He avoids the net for a couple of days, hoping the worst of it will pass by, but it pops up again and again and the voices just get louder and louder.
He spends a day with Pete and instead of silence which had been all he heard from Pete before, now all he hears is ‘maybe William was right, maybe they weren’t ready, maybe they are just a one hit wonder’.
He’s desperate enough to try something else, he can’t keep losing people, he can’t.
He smokes with Jon and that works for a couple of weeks, then he resorts to harder, more questionable stuff.
Jon won’t help him with that so he has to go to others, those others take pictures.
He meets with Spencer because he needs a friend, needs someone that can see through him, needs someone that tell him that he’s not going crazy.
“I think I need a break,” he says and Spencer’s laugh sounds relieved. Ryan can’t ‘hear’ him, he doesn’t know if that’s a good sign or a bad sign.
“I was kind of thinking the same thing,” Spencer says. He takes a sip of his water and looks at Ryan with a serious expression on his face.
“Brendon and I have been working on some stuff,” he says, Ryan doesn’t fidget, doesn’t blink or move.
Maybe that’s why he can’t ‘hear’ Spencer anymore; maybe he can’t hear Spencer because Spencer’s already given up on him.
He makes noises about him and Jon working on some stuff, and they have been, but nothing that they really planned on doing anything with. It was just stuff they were doing to play around, killing time.
He drives around in circles and hours later he goes home and Jon is waiting, Spencer must have already talked to him because he looks at Ryan with a raised eyebrow.
“You can work with them,” Ryan says, he doesn’t want him to leave; Jon is all he has left now.
Jon shakes his head, and his voice is clear in Ryan’s head, ‘what the hell? Can’t leave him alone though, god what a mess, what a mess’.
It takes a few weeks before Jon is silent in his head, Ryan’s stopped drinking, stopped smoking up with him. He eats when they put food in front of him, but everyone is so loud that half the time he gets distracted. All he sees is Jon’s quiet watchful eyes, all he sees is Alex hovering. All he ‘hears’ is their worry and fear.
“I think we need to take a few days off,” Ryan says when they’re finally silent in his head.
If he was right, if Spencer’s silence was an indication that Spencer had given up, then he knows that Jon’s silence means the same thing.
******************************************************************************
Brent shows up on his doorstep two days after Jon leaves. Ryan thinks he’s staying with Spencer, he’s not sure.
When he opens the door Brent is standing there and he looks bad, Ryan knows if he were to look in a mirror that he probably looks exactly like that.
“I think I’m going insane,” Brent says.
“Maybe we can share a room in the hospital then,” Ryan says. And opens the door wider so Brent can walk in.
******************************************************************************
They’re four shows in. He and Brendon are starting to gel on stage and they only have a 30 minute set which is good.
Because any longer then that and Brendon starts looking for Jon and Ryan and Spencer starts to realize that he can see the audience because Ryan’s body isn’t blocking his view.
“This isn’t permanent,” Brendon says fiercely one night. “This isn’t.”
The fans are receptive to their music which is nice, they don’t cover any of their old songs because the thought of performing something of theirs without Ryan and Jon there feels like it would be signing the death warrant of them as a group.
They cover other songs though, anything that Brendon feels like doing.
It’s fun.
They spend a lot of time on Pete’s bus, Ashlee has Bronx with her because she’s still filming, Pete has brought Hemmy with him.
Pete is the one that finds the pictures, someone Twitters at him about them and he’s got the journal they were originally posted to up on the screen when Brendon and Spencer show up.
“What’s going on with Ross?” he asks and Spencer shares a look with Brendon, because that’s a loaded question if he ever heard one.
He hasn’t talked to Ryan directly in a couple of weeks, he talked to Jon over the weekend though and he sounded relaxed, they’d apparently been taking a couple days off.
He wonders if Ryan got his picture taken actually doing the drugs this time instead of one insinuating that he was doing them.
“Why?” Spencer asks, Brendon goes over to where Pete has his laptop open. Spencer follows and he thinks that the same expression of confusion that is on Brendon’s face is probably on his.
“Is that Brent?”
******************************************************************************
There’s three pictures total, taken by a fan with a camera with a zoom at a rest stop. They show Ryan sitting cross-legged on a picnic table, Brent sitting next to him. Ryan’s holding something cupped between his hands and they’re both grinning.
They both look happy. It certainly doesn’t look like the same Ryan that Spencer’d had lunch with that looked about a week shy of losing his shit all over the place.
The post heading is:
Wilson and RyRo made up? When did this happen?
Followed by the pictures, the pictures aren’t posted behind a cut tag so everyone can see them. They were evidently taken at a rest stop in Kansas.
It’s had over 5 pages of replies by the time Pete shows it to them.
“I’ve seen them,” Jon says when Spencer calls him. “I’ve got no idea. Ryan’s not home, his sidekick is on his kitchen table and there’s no note.”
“Jon…”
“He’s in Kansas, or was, the pictures were taken two days ago.”
“You asked?”
“I created a journal specifically to do so,” Jon says.
“Why the fuck would he be with Brent?” Brendon asks. It’s a sensible question; Spencer hadn’t even known that Ryan and Brent were talking.
He wonders what else he doesn’t know, what else Ryan has kept from him, from them.
******************************************************************************
More Constants, maybe Saturday. Next up Gerard & Frank.
RATING: PG-13
PAIRING: Ryan/?
AUTHOR: Melanie
WARNINGS: This didn’t happen?
DISCLAIMER: I don’t own any of these boys. If you recognize your name press the back button right on out.
Chapter 1
Then:
Brent takes Ryan for a walk when Jon Walker brings Brendon back to van drunk and barely able to keep his feet under him.
Ryan probably would have chosen Spencer to wander the outskirts of the bus area with, but Spencer had lost three rounds of rock-paper-scissors so Brent got to not deal with Brendon.
They’re just walking, Ryan has found a stick somewhere and is sort of waving it the ground in front of him.
He automatically reaches out a hand when Ryan stumbles.
“New feet?” he grins and Ryan just looks at the ground.
“There’s something…” he kneels so Brent does as well. There’s a blue rock, it looks dirty, like it’s been there a while, but you can still see the blue under the dirty.
They reach out to touch it at the same time, when Ryan pulls his hand away his fingers are streaked with a blue dust.
“This better not be some kind of sex pollen egg rock thing,” Brent laughs. “Because I like you…”
“But not like that,” Ryan grins at him, one of the few that he’s managed in the last couple of days since Brendon has discovered alcohol.
“And does that even happen in real life?” Ryan adds as he carefully picks the rock egg thing up, Brent stands and wipes his own fingers on his jeans.
It has to be getting close to a laundry day, he thinks, if they go to much longer his jeans are going to be able to walk without him in them and he’s pretty sure that’s not supposed to happen in real life either.
They walk back to the bus, Ryan holding the rock egg thing with both hands.
“You know if that’s really an egg whatever’s inside is most likely dead, right?”
“I think it’s pretty,” Ryan says. “If it starts smelling I’ll just blame it on Brendon’s socks until it doesn’t.”
Brent laughs and they walk.
When they get back to the van Brendon is passed out in the backseat and Spencer looks like he’d like nothing better then to kill each and every one of them.
Brent forgets all about the rock egg thing.
Now:
Ryan is pretty sure he’s going insane.
It’s not normal to look at Brendon and hear ‘I hate every word, every word, why can’t you write something that I want to sing’, or look at Spencer and hear ‘autopay, come on its not a new concept’ and ‘you’re an adult I should at least be able to trust that I’ll be able to leave you alone for three days and not find you with no power or food’.
The alcohol dulls the voices so that he can’t hear them, but that doesn’t last for very long and eventually the voices are back and Brendon’s is even louder, even angrier, as is Spencer’s. And there’s other voices chiming in as well, making their presence known.
Keltie’s voice is disappointed in him, ‘what’s he waiting for? There should be a ring, we already have Hobo, I don’t want to start a family without one, maybe that’s the push that he needs’.
He calls a friend, someone vague and enough distance away that he can’t ‘hear’ them and asks them for a favor.
It takes three weeks for Keltie to pick up his sidekick and he waits for her to see through it, but instead she takes it at face value and they’re done.
He comes out looking like the bad guy, like a hypocrite, but he can’t…
He’s going crazy and he can’t take Keltie with him, can’t have kids that he might make crazy just by virtue of their being his.
He avoids the net for a couple of days, hoping the worst of it will pass by, but it pops up again and again and the voices just get louder and louder.
He spends a day with Pete and instead of silence which had been all he heard from Pete before, now all he hears is ‘maybe William was right, maybe they weren’t ready, maybe they are just a one hit wonder’.
He’s desperate enough to try something else, he can’t keep losing people, he can’t.
He smokes with Jon and that works for a couple of weeks, then he resorts to harder, more questionable stuff.
Jon won’t help him with that so he has to go to others, those others take pictures.
He meets with Spencer because he needs a friend, needs someone that can see through him, needs someone that tell him that he’s not going crazy.
“I think I need a break,” he says and Spencer’s laugh sounds relieved. Ryan can’t ‘hear’ him, he doesn’t know if that’s a good sign or a bad sign.
“I was kind of thinking the same thing,” Spencer says. He takes a sip of his water and looks at Ryan with a serious expression on his face.
“Brendon and I have been working on some stuff,” he says, Ryan doesn’t fidget, doesn’t blink or move.
Maybe that’s why he can’t ‘hear’ Spencer anymore; maybe he can’t hear Spencer because Spencer’s already given up on him.
He makes noises about him and Jon working on some stuff, and they have been, but nothing that they really planned on doing anything with. It was just stuff they were doing to play around, killing time.
He drives around in circles and hours later he goes home and Jon is waiting, Spencer must have already talked to him because he looks at Ryan with a raised eyebrow.
“You can work with them,” Ryan says, he doesn’t want him to leave; Jon is all he has left now.
Jon shakes his head, and his voice is clear in Ryan’s head, ‘what the hell? Can’t leave him alone though, god what a mess, what a mess’.
It takes a few weeks before Jon is silent in his head, Ryan’s stopped drinking, stopped smoking up with him. He eats when they put food in front of him, but everyone is so loud that half the time he gets distracted. All he sees is Jon’s quiet watchful eyes, all he sees is Alex hovering. All he ‘hears’ is their worry and fear.
“I think we need to take a few days off,” Ryan says when they’re finally silent in his head.
If he was right, if Spencer’s silence was an indication that Spencer had given up, then he knows that Jon’s silence means the same thing.
Brent shows up on his doorstep two days after Jon leaves. Ryan thinks he’s staying with Spencer, he’s not sure.
When he opens the door Brent is standing there and he looks bad, Ryan knows if he were to look in a mirror that he probably looks exactly like that.
“I think I’m going insane,” Brent says.
“Maybe we can share a room in the hospital then,” Ryan says. And opens the door wider so Brent can walk in.
They’re four shows in. He and Brendon are starting to gel on stage and they only have a 30 minute set which is good.
Because any longer then that and Brendon starts looking for Jon and Ryan and Spencer starts to realize that he can see the audience because Ryan’s body isn’t blocking his view.
“This isn’t permanent,” Brendon says fiercely one night. “This isn’t.”
The fans are receptive to their music which is nice, they don’t cover any of their old songs because the thought of performing something of theirs without Ryan and Jon there feels like it would be signing the death warrant of them as a group.
They cover other songs though, anything that Brendon feels like doing.
It’s fun.
They spend a lot of time on Pete’s bus, Ashlee has Bronx with her because she’s still filming, Pete has brought Hemmy with him.
Pete is the one that finds the pictures, someone Twitters at him about them and he’s got the journal they were originally posted to up on the screen when Brendon and Spencer show up.
“What’s going on with Ross?” he asks and Spencer shares a look with Brendon, because that’s a loaded question if he ever heard one.
He hasn’t talked to Ryan directly in a couple of weeks, he talked to Jon over the weekend though and he sounded relaxed, they’d apparently been taking a couple days off.
He wonders if Ryan got his picture taken actually doing the drugs this time instead of one insinuating that he was doing them.
“Why?” Spencer asks, Brendon goes over to where Pete has his laptop open. Spencer follows and he thinks that the same expression of confusion that is on Brendon’s face is probably on his.
“Is that Brent?”
There’s three pictures total, taken by a fan with a camera with a zoom at a rest stop. They show Ryan sitting cross-legged on a picnic table, Brent sitting next to him. Ryan’s holding something cupped between his hands and they’re both grinning.
They both look happy. It certainly doesn’t look like the same Ryan that Spencer’d had lunch with that looked about a week shy of losing his shit all over the place.
The post heading is:
Wilson and RyRo made up? When did this happen?
Followed by the pictures, the pictures aren’t posted behind a cut tag so everyone can see them. They were evidently taken at a rest stop in Kansas.
It’s had over 5 pages of replies by the time Pete shows it to them.
“I’ve seen them,” Jon says when Spencer calls him. “I’ve got no idea. Ryan’s not home, his sidekick is on his kitchen table and there’s no note.”
“Jon…”
“He’s in Kansas, or was, the pictures were taken two days ago.”
“You asked?”
“I created a journal specifically to do so,” Jon says.
“Why the fuck would he be with Brent?” Brendon asks. It’s a sensible question; Spencer hadn’t even known that Ryan and Brent were talking.
He wonders what else he doesn’t know, what else Ryan has kept from him, from them.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2009-07-19 04:05 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-08-02 04:57 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-08-03 11:09 am (UTC)I really hope you decide to continue this, I need a fix-it for the split that comes out well for Ryan (I'm still a Ryan!girl I guess).
I'm really intrigued by the idea so far.