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laniew1An extra long chapter as an apology for making you all wait so long (but also because there was no good place to cut it).
Sam took the gun from his father and held it in his own hands, deep breaths to calm himself down and he hadn’t realized that he was so angry.
RATING: R (for language and violence)
PAIRING: Lex/Dean/Lana (past Lex/Jason/Lana)
Author: Melanie
DISCLAIMER: I don’t own them, if I did do you think the last thirty seconds of the season finale of Supernatural would have happened?
SUMMARY: Dean knows what possession feels like, he’s been saved from one himself.
Possession - Chapter 5
Sam took the gun from his father and held it in his own hands, deep breaths to calm himself down and he hadn’t realized that he was so angry.
He hadn’t even got to touch or support or help Dean in any way.
Not that Dean would have accepted the help in the first place, even dying he’d been smacking at Sam’s hands and telling him to ‘get off me, dude, I’m not an invalid’, even though he had been.
Sam glared at Lex Luthor just for something to do at this point, what right did that man have to keep Dean from them? Dean was his brother, not Luthor’s.
At least Dean had acknowledged them, had talked to them, even though he’d been lying because he wasn’t okay and he hadn’t even been able to look at dad.
“You have no right to keep us from him.”
“From where I’m standing, you have no rights at all; I have Jason’s power of attorney. I could have you thrown out of here because this is my property and I could bar you from even looking at him if I so choose.”
His dad laughed sharply, eyes glittering as he stared at Lex.
“You have power over Jason Teague, you don’t have that power over Dean Winchester and at this moment, my son is the one you’re dealing with. So don’t even think about trying to keep him from us.”
Lex just stared at his father and Sam did as well. Because he still didn’t know what the hell had happened a year ago and it looked like Lex Luthor didn’t either.
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“What the hell are you talking about?” Lex asked with narrowed eyes, because if these people were insinuating what he thought they were insinuating… Jason had known them, this Dean Winchester shouldn’t have.
Thus, Jason was the man being led upstairs while their son/brother was somewhere else.
Except Jason had known them as well, had called John, dad. Had known Sam, who it appeared, was his brother.
Jason had never made mention of having a sibling.
“I’d like to know too,” the boy, Sam, had shoved the gun he’d taken from his fathers hands into his coat pocket and now had his arms crossed over his chest, staring at his father with a severely pissed off expression on his face.
“You don’t know?” Lex eyed him with suspicion. This boy had walked in here with these people like he’d had a right to be there.
“I was away at school, obviously I missed more than a few hunting trips and Dean being allowed to go off by himself,” Sam muttered.
“That boy you have upstairs, that’s not Jason Teague,” Bobby said when it became evident that John Winchester wasn’t going to say a word, was instead going to stare at the door like he expected Jason to reappear.
“What are you talking about? Of course that’s Jason, he knew me, knew Lana when he woke up.”
“Well yeah, he would,” Bobby frowned, took his baseball cap off and ran a hand over his head before he replaced it firmly and glanced over at John again.
“You ever wonder why Dean reacted so strongly to that girl, to the fact that she was possessed?” he directed his attention to Sam.
“You mean Meg? He was trying to get answers, find out where dad was,” Sam’s brow wrinkled as he eyed Bobby.
“Not before, but after when you were finishing it, you and me, we wanted to leave the girl be. Because her body was broken and she’d die once the demon was gone.”
“Yeah,” Sam stared at him in incomprehension.
“He’d been in her place before.”
“Dean was possessed? By a demon?” the tone was so incredulous that Lex almost smirked. Because if even one of their own wasn’t buying this bullshit story than how the hell did they hope to convince him and Lana of it.
“He was missing for 9 months. He’d been doing a job in Wichita, simple exorcism and he just… vanished,” John Winchester finally said softly. He looked up to meet his Sam’s eyes, meeting Lex’s for just a moment before he looked away.
“No phone calls, no nothing. It was like he’d fallen off the face of the Earth. We didn’t even know if he was even alive until we saw this picture in the paper, of Jason Teague,” John closed his eyes.
“We sent Caleb here to do some reconnaissance. Your daddy, he wanted to come himself but Dean would have reacted to him and we couldn’t let Jason know that we knew what was going on.”
“You keep talking about them like they’re two different people,” Clark said from the opposite side of the room. Lex glanced over at him; Clark looked like there was something about this whole whacked out conversation that was making a strange kind of sense.
“Because they were, Dean was just in there. Trapped in his body. And if I know that boy any, the whole time he was probably screaming at the world, while Jason Teague just went about using his body like it was his own.”
“How the hell did that even happen, Dean doesn’t have the sort of weaknesses that would allow a demon control,” Sam frowned. “Unless he was flying or something.”
“Your brother doesn’t fly anywhere; some issue about long term parking or some such nonsense,” John sounded slightly disgusted by that fact. “And we’re still not sure how they got the drop on him, Dean doesn’t remember either. Doesn’t remember anything other than waking up and not being able to gain control of his own body.”
“Who would…?” Sam shook his head.
“Genevieve Teague,” Lex said softly, “his, Jason’s mother, she did it.” This was all making a crazy sort of sense and he wondered if he should sit down.
“She didn’t do it alone,” Bobby tapped his fingers against his leg. “We could never find the ones that helped her though, and she didn’t have enough power to do it herself. The spell she used…”
“Spell? Why would she use a spell?” Sam interrupted.
“Because Jason wasn’t a demon in the technical sense of the word, he was a spirit. Your brother and him, if you’d put them side by side even you wouldn’t be able to tell them apart Sammy, it’s probably why she chose him in the first place. Less chance of someone having known Jason Teague before and being able to tell the difference. There’s only so much you can explain away as plastic surgery after all,” John sat down heavily on the couch.
“Anyway the spell she used was powerfully complicated; Missouri said that it would have taken Genevieve and at least three others like her to actually do it.”
“That’s why Dean knew that the Seal of Solomon was painted on the ceiling in your house,” Sam said sharply, like he’d just realized something that he should have known all along. “Why he chose to go to you for help instead of the countless others that were actually closer. You did the exorcism there. You did his exorcism there.”
“He was in bad shape, not as broken as that girl Meg, but pretty close. We actually put it off for a couple of days, tried to get him a bit stronger, kept him handcuffed to the bed in the guestroom. We had the pendant ready so if he didn’t die as soon as the exorcism was done we could use it to keep Teague from gaining a foothold again. We enchanted the whole thing, pendant, chain. Just in case, you know, because that boy was damn stubborn, just like your brother, he hung around for a good hour after it was done trying to get back into Dean’s body,” Bobby grinned wryly.
“Chain,” Sam’s brow furrowed as if in thought. “Dean’s pendant is on a cord, a black one, not on a chain.”
Bobby frowned and he exchanged a look with John who shook his head.
“It shouldn’t matter, Teague has moved on, Dean is safe, from him at least,” John said quietly.
“Why didn’t anyone call me?” Sam demanded.
“He didn’t want you to know Sam, didn’t want anyone to know. That type of news leaks out and gets to the things we hunt? It’s a weakness, it’s something they can exploit and Dean wouldn’t stand for that,” John said softly.
“It took him weeks to recover and he probably should have had a few more on top of that but you know your brother. He’s as stubborn as they come and he wouldn’t stand for waiting on the sidelines any longer. He doesn’t talk about it, refuses to sometimes even acknowledge that it even happened.”
“But it did, and I should have known. Someone should have told me.”
“Let’s say that I believe this insane story for even just a microsecond. Jason knows you, fine. What’s to say that this isn’t just some elaborate scheme to get him away from somewhere that he’s protected so that you can finish killing him?”
“We didn’t do this to him,” Sam growled. Although he looked over and away from his father far too quickly for Lex’s liking. The father was in some way responsible for or had been involved with the wounds on Jason (Dean’s, whoever’s) body.
“If you want to know the truth just ask him,” John said tiredly. “He won’t lie to you.”
“Jason made a habit of lying to people, especially me,” Lex muttered. Especially those he professed to care about, though he didn’t voice that sentiment out loud.
“Well then you’ll know that it’s not Jason, because Dean won’t lie about this,” Sam said decisively.
“You could have just brainwashed him into thinking that he’s your brother, you’ve had a year to do that,” Clark murmured quietly. Lex glanced over at him, wanted to tell him not to help, would have but Clark wasn’t looking at him, was instead staring at Sam.
Sam glared at him but turned his attention back to Lex instead of growling the angry words that Lex had a feeling were on the tip of his tongue.
“Just ask him. I know my brother, better than I know anyone else in this world and that man upstairs is him.”
Lex narrowed his eyes. They were so sure, so positive and he couldn’t help but wonder what Lana was going to think about all this.
They had Jason back, even if he was or had been in actuality this Dean.
They were known by him, he’d said Lex’s name. Had looked at Lana as if she was his world. Had accepted their touch and Lex would kill anyone that tried to make him let him go again.
The last time he had, they’d only found him again when he was half dead, the next time he might be fully dead and Lex would not allow that to happen.
Not if there was anything he could do to prevent it.
“Just ask him,” Sam insisted. “He won’t lie about this.”
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He was listing heavily to the left (ironically the side that Lana was on) when Lana and Amy finally got him back to his room. He was more tired than he thought possible and he kept seeing Lex’s face in his minds eye, looking betrayed when Dean had known Dad and Sammy.
Dean felt a small measure of guilt for that look, even though this wasn’t his fault. He hadn’t asked to be kidnapped by Genevieve Teague. Hadn’t asked to be a vessel for Jason Teague.
Hadn’t asked for Lex and Lana to care about him. To care about Jason.
Didn’t want to ask why they still did. Because they shouldn’t.
If there was one thing Dean was sure of it was that Lex and Lana should be making little voodoo dolls with whatever hair Jason had left in this house and sticking pins into and yanking off arms and legs.
They shouldn’t be worried about him, shouldn’t be taking care of him.
Especially since he wasn’t Jason.
He might have Jason’s memories, might know them and remember what it had been like to touch them and love them.
But he wasn’t Jason, Jason had been a totally different person then him. Different personalities, different priorities.
Different name and different family.
He sat on the bed heavily, Lana keeping hold of his arm while he swung his legs up and sort of collapsed onto his back before she stepped away.
Amy had disappeared from his line of sight and he was just to tired and hurt to much to even worry abut what she was doing. He was pretty sure it was going to end up involving her stabbing him with a needle anyway.
He was drenched in sweat, his chest ached again and really he wished he could be Jason Teague for just fifteen minutes because Jason hadn’t had any problem crying when the occasion warranted it.
Lana ran a hand over his forehead, smiling down at him. Amy came back and there was a needle in her hand and maybe Sam wasn’t the only psychic one in their family.
She was gentle in her touches, lifting his arm and he barely felt the prick in his arm.
She disappeared from the side of the bed and when she reappeared she and Lana pulled on his arms until he was sitting upright.
“Let’s get that shirt off you,” she patted at his arms and when he raised them slightly Lana tugged it over his head.
She stared at the blood dotting it, and Dean turned his attention to Amy so he could ignore the tears filling Lana’s eyes.
Her hands were still gentle as she pushed him back into the pillows, fingers pulling on the gauze taped to his chest.
Lana made a choked little noise and he kept his attention firmly on Amy.
The wounds were bleeding slightly again and actually standing and moving had probably ripped each one open again.
But he’d heard his dad’s voice and knew that anger, and unless he wanted his dad up on assault charges he’d known that he should probably intervene. Because Sammy would certainly have no clue what was going on, would have no idea why John would be so angry about Dean being in this house once again, despite the fact that his voiced wish for Dean had been for a home for him.
Dean knew his father well enough to know that voiced wish for what it really was, a wish.
Wishful thinking.
Dean wasn’t ever going to have a home. The closest he’d ever come had been when he was here and that had only been his body, not him.
Now his home was wherever his family was and sometimes he thought he might not make it to the end with an intact one of those.
He knew that Sammy would be gone the moment that the demon was gone, his dad might stay on a little bit after it was done but eventually he would follow suit as well.
Because he’d only started this to get some sort of vengeance for Mary’s death, just like Sam had only started up hunting with him because of Jess’s death.
Dean was the only one that was doing this because it needed to be done, his father had trained him, had given him the weapons and the tools to do it and he couldn’t just stop once the demon that had destroyed his family was gone. He’d seen what was out there, seen the darkness that lurked at every street corner and he knew that if he didn’t do it sometimes it didn’t seem like anyone else would.
The world didn’t have a Buffy or Angel; it just had ordinary people who saw something in the dark that needed to be battled.
His eyes drooped slightly as Amy cleaned the wounds and pressed new bandages over them.
Lana sat beside him on the bed, hand on his arm, a rhythmic stroking motion and it was actually quite soothing.
It reminded him of hazy memories of his mother rubbing his back when he’d been a child. At least he thought it was his mother, it could have just been a babysitter when they were still young enough where dad felt uncomfortable about leaving him and Sammy alone while he went out hunting.
Amy and Lana were talking around him, probably talking about him and he lay there quietly. If he didn’t move it didn’t hurt so much. If he stopped breathing it probably wouldn’t hurt at all.
Except Lex would probably breathe air back into his lungs because he wouldn’t let anything have the satisfaction of harming him until he got his pound of flesh for the horrors that Jason had perpetrated against him and Lana and Clark and every other person that Lex counted as being amongst his circle of ‘friends’.
Plus Dad and Sam were there now, with Bobby in tow. They’d paint protective circles around the room (if Amy hadn’t already done so) and they’d line the windows and doors with salt that the maids that Lex employed would sweep away.
He should feel safe as houses but he felt as if he was just biding his time.
And he didn’t know why he felt like that. He wasn’t the important one. Didn’t have the powers that the demon coveted, the demon didn’t seem interested in him at all except as an obstacle that needed to be got through in order to get to Sam.
With him down Sam was wide open and he wondered what dad and Bobby and the others were doing to protect him.
“I’d like to stay,” Lana was saying quietly, her hand still stroking his arm in that distracting manner and he turned his head slightly to look at her.
Focusing on her in a way that he hadn’t since he’d woken.
She looked the same, a year older of course but still so beautiful that it made something inside him hurt and he had to look away.
Her beauty had been what first drew Jason to her. Dean had been drawn to her strength, to her will, and even though he’d had not an ounce of control loving, make love to Lana had not been a hardship.
Lex on the other hand.
Jason had been drawn to his passion. To his anger.
Dean himself hadn’t had any experiences with guys up until Jason had taken over his body. The first time Jason had allowed Lex to touch them he’d fought it, not that it made any difference at all. And it had been with something akin to shock when he realized that he liked the way that Lex dominated Jason. Almost as much as Jason liked it.
His only thought had been that his father was going to kill him, because even though he wasn’t in control of his body he’d enjoyed having sex with Lex and the fact that his son was quite obviously bi-sexual was not going to be something that John Winchester was going to take very well.
So he’d continued to fight Jason’s desire for Lex, futilely because Jason didn’t listen to him. By the time Lex had come into their life Jason had perfected the art of tuning Dean out.
Dean had begun feeling something other than disgust so slowly that he hadn’t realized what was happening. Couldn’t, wouldn’t call it love because he didn’t say those words. He’d said them once to Cassie and had them thrown back in his face along with the truth.
He’d not wanted to feel love for Lex or Lana and he’d fought it with every fiber of his being.
Had still been fighting it when he was finally alone in his own body and realized that he was drawn to magazines and articles about Lex. That it was obvious that somewhere along the way he’d become a fourteen year old girl and the only reason he didn’t have pictures of Lex Luthor tacked up on his wall was because the motels tended to get a bit tetchy about the holes and because Sam would demand explanations that he couldn’t give him.
Not without telling him the truth anyway, and if there was one thing in the world that Dean didn’t ever want Sam to find out it would have to be the fact that he’d been Meg once upon a time.
Only he hadn’t ended up dead.
Just broken.
Sammy was probably learning the truth right now though and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.
Lana stroked a hand down his cheek, turning his head to look at her and she smiled at him.
He raised his hand to touch hers and wished that moving wasn’t so painful. He wanted to curl on his side and let her hold him.
Wanted Lex to not be downstairs hearing the truth, wanted him instead to be on the other side of the bed. Both of them warm around him so that when he was forced to leave he could hold that memory as his and not one of Jason’s.
He closed his eyes and kissed the palm of her hand before lacing their fingers together.
They were giving him the good drugs, beside him he felt Lana shifting and he leaned his head against her hip.
She’d leave soon enough. Lex would come in furious and ranting about being lied to and would take Lana away and he’d be alone again.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, even though he wasn’t sure what he was apologizing for.
For not being Jason any longer? Or for still needing them both like he needed air, like he needed dad and Sam.
He felt Lana’s lips against the back of his hand and he slept.
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Sam took the gun from his father and held it in his own hands, deep breaths to calm himself down and he hadn’t realized that he was so angry.
| Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 |
| Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 |
RATING: R (for language and violence)
PAIRING: Lex/Dean/Lana (past Lex/Jason/Lana)
Author: Melanie
DISCLAIMER: I don’t own them, if I did do you think the last thirty seconds of the season finale of Supernatural would have happened?
SUMMARY: Dean knows what possession feels like, he’s been saved from one himself.
Possession - Chapter 5
Sam took the gun from his father and held it in his own hands, deep breaths to calm himself down and he hadn’t realized that he was so angry.
He hadn’t even got to touch or support or help Dean in any way.
Not that Dean would have accepted the help in the first place, even dying he’d been smacking at Sam’s hands and telling him to ‘get off me, dude, I’m not an invalid’, even though he had been.
Sam glared at Lex Luthor just for something to do at this point, what right did that man have to keep Dean from them? Dean was his brother, not Luthor’s.
At least Dean had acknowledged them, had talked to them, even though he’d been lying because he wasn’t okay and he hadn’t even been able to look at dad.
“You have no right to keep us from him.”
“From where I’m standing, you have no rights at all; I have Jason’s power of attorney. I could have you thrown out of here because this is my property and I could bar you from even looking at him if I so choose.”
His dad laughed sharply, eyes glittering as he stared at Lex.
“You have power over Jason Teague, you don’t have that power over Dean Winchester and at this moment, my son is the one you’re dealing with. So don’t even think about trying to keep him from us.”
Lex just stared at his father and Sam did as well. Because he still didn’t know what the hell had happened a year ago and it looked like Lex Luthor didn’t either.
“What the hell are you talking about?” Lex asked with narrowed eyes, because if these people were insinuating what he thought they were insinuating… Jason had known them, this Dean Winchester shouldn’t have.
Thus, Jason was the man being led upstairs while their son/brother was somewhere else.
Except Jason had known them as well, had called John, dad. Had known Sam, who it appeared, was his brother.
Jason had never made mention of having a sibling.
“I’d like to know too,” the boy, Sam, had shoved the gun he’d taken from his fathers hands into his coat pocket and now had his arms crossed over his chest, staring at his father with a severely pissed off expression on his face.
“You don’t know?” Lex eyed him with suspicion. This boy had walked in here with these people like he’d had a right to be there.
“I was away at school, obviously I missed more than a few hunting trips and Dean being allowed to go off by himself,” Sam muttered.
“That boy you have upstairs, that’s not Jason Teague,” Bobby said when it became evident that John Winchester wasn’t going to say a word, was instead going to stare at the door like he expected Jason to reappear.
“What are you talking about? Of course that’s Jason, he knew me, knew Lana when he woke up.”
“Well yeah, he would,” Bobby frowned, took his baseball cap off and ran a hand over his head before he replaced it firmly and glanced over at John again.
“You ever wonder why Dean reacted so strongly to that girl, to the fact that she was possessed?” he directed his attention to Sam.
“You mean Meg? He was trying to get answers, find out where dad was,” Sam’s brow wrinkled as he eyed Bobby.
“Not before, but after when you were finishing it, you and me, we wanted to leave the girl be. Because her body was broken and she’d die once the demon was gone.”
“Yeah,” Sam stared at him in incomprehension.
“He’d been in her place before.”
“Dean was possessed? By a demon?” the tone was so incredulous that Lex almost smirked. Because if even one of their own wasn’t buying this bullshit story than how the hell did they hope to convince him and Lana of it.
“He was missing for 9 months. He’d been doing a job in Wichita, simple exorcism and he just… vanished,” John Winchester finally said softly. He looked up to meet his Sam’s eyes, meeting Lex’s for just a moment before he looked away.
“No phone calls, no nothing. It was like he’d fallen off the face of the Earth. We didn’t even know if he was even alive until we saw this picture in the paper, of Jason Teague,” John closed his eyes.
“We sent Caleb here to do some reconnaissance. Your daddy, he wanted to come himself but Dean would have reacted to him and we couldn’t let Jason know that we knew what was going on.”
“You keep talking about them like they’re two different people,” Clark said from the opposite side of the room. Lex glanced over at him; Clark looked like there was something about this whole whacked out conversation that was making a strange kind of sense.
“Because they were, Dean was just in there. Trapped in his body. And if I know that boy any, the whole time he was probably screaming at the world, while Jason Teague just went about using his body like it was his own.”
“How the hell did that even happen, Dean doesn’t have the sort of weaknesses that would allow a demon control,” Sam frowned. “Unless he was flying or something.”
“Your brother doesn’t fly anywhere; some issue about long term parking or some such nonsense,” John sounded slightly disgusted by that fact. “And we’re still not sure how they got the drop on him, Dean doesn’t remember either. Doesn’t remember anything other than waking up and not being able to gain control of his own body.”
“Who would…?” Sam shook his head.
“Genevieve Teague,” Lex said softly, “his, Jason’s mother, she did it.” This was all making a crazy sort of sense and he wondered if he should sit down.
“She didn’t do it alone,” Bobby tapped his fingers against his leg. “We could never find the ones that helped her though, and she didn’t have enough power to do it herself. The spell she used…”
“Spell? Why would she use a spell?” Sam interrupted.
“Because Jason wasn’t a demon in the technical sense of the word, he was a spirit. Your brother and him, if you’d put them side by side even you wouldn’t be able to tell them apart Sammy, it’s probably why she chose him in the first place. Less chance of someone having known Jason Teague before and being able to tell the difference. There’s only so much you can explain away as plastic surgery after all,” John sat down heavily on the couch.
“Anyway the spell she used was powerfully complicated; Missouri said that it would have taken Genevieve and at least three others like her to actually do it.”
“That’s why Dean knew that the Seal of Solomon was painted on the ceiling in your house,” Sam said sharply, like he’d just realized something that he should have known all along. “Why he chose to go to you for help instead of the countless others that were actually closer. You did the exorcism there. You did his exorcism there.”
“He was in bad shape, not as broken as that girl Meg, but pretty close. We actually put it off for a couple of days, tried to get him a bit stronger, kept him handcuffed to the bed in the guestroom. We had the pendant ready so if he didn’t die as soon as the exorcism was done we could use it to keep Teague from gaining a foothold again. We enchanted the whole thing, pendant, chain. Just in case, you know, because that boy was damn stubborn, just like your brother, he hung around for a good hour after it was done trying to get back into Dean’s body,” Bobby grinned wryly.
“Chain,” Sam’s brow furrowed as if in thought. “Dean’s pendant is on a cord, a black one, not on a chain.”
Bobby frowned and he exchanged a look with John who shook his head.
“It shouldn’t matter, Teague has moved on, Dean is safe, from him at least,” John said quietly.
“Why didn’t anyone call me?” Sam demanded.
“He didn’t want you to know Sam, didn’t want anyone to know. That type of news leaks out and gets to the things we hunt? It’s a weakness, it’s something they can exploit and Dean wouldn’t stand for that,” John said softly.
“It took him weeks to recover and he probably should have had a few more on top of that but you know your brother. He’s as stubborn as they come and he wouldn’t stand for waiting on the sidelines any longer. He doesn’t talk about it, refuses to sometimes even acknowledge that it even happened.”
“But it did, and I should have known. Someone should have told me.”
“Let’s say that I believe this insane story for even just a microsecond. Jason knows you, fine. What’s to say that this isn’t just some elaborate scheme to get him away from somewhere that he’s protected so that you can finish killing him?”
“We didn’t do this to him,” Sam growled. Although he looked over and away from his father far too quickly for Lex’s liking. The father was in some way responsible for or had been involved with the wounds on Jason (Dean’s, whoever’s) body.
“If you want to know the truth just ask him,” John said tiredly. “He won’t lie to you.”
“Jason made a habit of lying to people, especially me,” Lex muttered. Especially those he professed to care about, though he didn’t voice that sentiment out loud.
“Well then you’ll know that it’s not Jason, because Dean won’t lie about this,” Sam said decisively.
“You could have just brainwashed him into thinking that he’s your brother, you’ve had a year to do that,” Clark murmured quietly. Lex glanced over at him, wanted to tell him not to help, would have but Clark wasn’t looking at him, was instead staring at Sam.
Sam glared at him but turned his attention back to Lex instead of growling the angry words that Lex had a feeling were on the tip of his tongue.
“Just ask him. I know my brother, better than I know anyone else in this world and that man upstairs is him.”
Lex narrowed his eyes. They were so sure, so positive and he couldn’t help but wonder what Lana was going to think about all this.
They had Jason back, even if he was or had been in actuality this Dean.
They were known by him, he’d said Lex’s name. Had looked at Lana as if she was his world. Had accepted their touch and Lex would kill anyone that tried to make him let him go again.
The last time he had, they’d only found him again when he was half dead, the next time he might be fully dead and Lex would not allow that to happen.
Not if there was anything he could do to prevent it.
“Just ask him,” Sam insisted. “He won’t lie about this.”
He was listing heavily to the left (ironically the side that Lana was on) when Lana and Amy finally got him back to his room. He was more tired than he thought possible and he kept seeing Lex’s face in his minds eye, looking betrayed when Dean had known Dad and Sammy.
Dean felt a small measure of guilt for that look, even though this wasn’t his fault. He hadn’t asked to be kidnapped by Genevieve Teague. Hadn’t asked to be a vessel for Jason Teague.
Hadn’t asked for Lex and Lana to care about him. To care about Jason.
Didn’t want to ask why they still did. Because they shouldn’t.
If there was one thing Dean was sure of it was that Lex and Lana should be making little voodoo dolls with whatever hair Jason had left in this house and sticking pins into and yanking off arms and legs.
They shouldn’t be worried about him, shouldn’t be taking care of him.
Especially since he wasn’t Jason.
He might have Jason’s memories, might know them and remember what it had been like to touch them and love them.
But he wasn’t Jason, Jason had been a totally different person then him. Different personalities, different priorities.
Different name and different family.
He sat on the bed heavily, Lana keeping hold of his arm while he swung his legs up and sort of collapsed onto his back before she stepped away.
Amy had disappeared from his line of sight and he was just to tired and hurt to much to even worry abut what she was doing. He was pretty sure it was going to end up involving her stabbing him with a needle anyway.
He was drenched in sweat, his chest ached again and really he wished he could be Jason Teague for just fifteen minutes because Jason hadn’t had any problem crying when the occasion warranted it.
Lana ran a hand over his forehead, smiling down at him. Amy came back and there was a needle in her hand and maybe Sam wasn’t the only psychic one in their family.
She was gentle in her touches, lifting his arm and he barely felt the prick in his arm.
She disappeared from the side of the bed and when she reappeared she and Lana pulled on his arms until he was sitting upright.
“Let’s get that shirt off you,” she patted at his arms and when he raised them slightly Lana tugged it over his head.
She stared at the blood dotting it, and Dean turned his attention to Amy so he could ignore the tears filling Lana’s eyes.
Her hands were still gentle as she pushed him back into the pillows, fingers pulling on the gauze taped to his chest.
Lana made a choked little noise and he kept his attention firmly on Amy.
The wounds were bleeding slightly again and actually standing and moving had probably ripped each one open again.
But he’d heard his dad’s voice and knew that anger, and unless he wanted his dad up on assault charges he’d known that he should probably intervene. Because Sammy would certainly have no clue what was going on, would have no idea why John would be so angry about Dean being in this house once again, despite the fact that his voiced wish for Dean had been for a home for him.
Dean knew his father well enough to know that voiced wish for what it really was, a wish.
Wishful thinking.
Dean wasn’t ever going to have a home. The closest he’d ever come had been when he was here and that had only been his body, not him.
Now his home was wherever his family was and sometimes he thought he might not make it to the end with an intact one of those.
He knew that Sammy would be gone the moment that the demon was gone, his dad might stay on a little bit after it was done but eventually he would follow suit as well.
Because he’d only started this to get some sort of vengeance for Mary’s death, just like Sam had only started up hunting with him because of Jess’s death.
Dean was the only one that was doing this because it needed to be done, his father had trained him, had given him the weapons and the tools to do it and he couldn’t just stop once the demon that had destroyed his family was gone. He’d seen what was out there, seen the darkness that lurked at every street corner and he knew that if he didn’t do it sometimes it didn’t seem like anyone else would.
The world didn’t have a Buffy or Angel; it just had ordinary people who saw something in the dark that needed to be battled.
His eyes drooped slightly as Amy cleaned the wounds and pressed new bandages over them.
Lana sat beside him on the bed, hand on his arm, a rhythmic stroking motion and it was actually quite soothing.
It reminded him of hazy memories of his mother rubbing his back when he’d been a child. At least he thought it was his mother, it could have just been a babysitter when they were still young enough where dad felt uncomfortable about leaving him and Sammy alone while he went out hunting.
Amy and Lana were talking around him, probably talking about him and he lay there quietly. If he didn’t move it didn’t hurt so much. If he stopped breathing it probably wouldn’t hurt at all.
Except Lex would probably breathe air back into his lungs because he wouldn’t let anything have the satisfaction of harming him until he got his pound of flesh for the horrors that Jason had perpetrated against him and Lana and Clark and every other person that Lex counted as being amongst his circle of ‘friends’.
Plus Dad and Sam were there now, with Bobby in tow. They’d paint protective circles around the room (if Amy hadn’t already done so) and they’d line the windows and doors with salt that the maids that Lex employed would sweep away.
He should feel safe as houses but he felt as if he was just biding his time.
And he didn’t know why he felt like that. He wasn’t the important one. Didn’t have the powers that the demon coveted, the demon didn’t seem interested in him at all except as an obstacle that needed to be got through in order to get to Sam.
With him down Sam was wide open and he wondered what dad and Bobby and the others were doing to protect him.
“I’d like to stay,” Lana was saying quietly, her hand still stroking his arm in that distracting manner and he turned his head slightly to look at her.
Focusing on her in a way that he hadn’t since he’d woken.
She looked the same, a year older of course but still so beautiful that it made something inside him hurt and he had to look away.
Her beauty had been what first drew Jason to her. Dean had been drawn to her strength, to her will, and even though he’d had not an ounce of control loving, make love to Lana had not been a hardship.
Lex on the other hand.
Jason had been drawn to his passion. To his anger.
Dean himself hadn’t had any experiences with guys up until Jason had taken over his body. The first time Jason had allowed Lex to touch them he’d fought it, not that it made any difference at all. And it had been with something akin to shock when he realized that he liked the way that Lex dominated Jason. Almost as much as Jason liked it.
His only thought had been that his father was going to kill him, because even though he wasn’t in control of his body he’d enjoyed having sex with Lex and the fact that his son was quite obviously bi-sexual was not going to be something that John Winchester was going to take very well.
So he’d continued to fight Jason’s desire for Lex, futilely because Jason didn’t listen to him. By the time Lex had come into their life Jason had perfected the art of tuning Dean out.
Dean had begun feeling something other than disgust so slowly that he hadn’t realized what was happening. Couldn’t, wouldn’t call it love because he didn’t say those words. He’d said them once to Cassie and had them thrown back in his face along with the truth.
He’d not wanted to feel love for Lex or Lana and he’d fought it with every fiber of his being.
Had still been fighting it when he was finally alone in his own body and realized that he was drawn to magazines and articles about Lex. That it was obvious that somewhere along the way he’d become a fourteen year old girl and the only reason he didn’t have pictures of Lex Luthor tacked up on his wall was because the motels tended to get a bit tetchy about the holes and because Sam would demand explanations that he couldn’t give him.
Not without telling him the truth anyway, and if there was one thing in the world that Dean didn’t ever want Sam to find out it would have to be the fact that he’d been Meg once upon a time.
Only he hadn’t ended up dead.
Just broken.
Sammy was probably learning the truth right now though and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.
Lana stroked a hand down his cheek, turning his head to look at her and she smiled at him.
He raised his hand to touch hers and wished that moving wasn’t so painful. He wanted to curl on his side and let her hold him.
Wanted Lex to not be downstairs hearing the truth, wanted him instead to be on the other side of the bed. Both of them warm around him so that when he was forced to leave he could hold that memory as his and not one of Jason’s.
He closed his eyes and kissed the palm of her hand before lacing their fingers together.
They were giving him the good drugs, beside him he felt Lana shifting and he leaned his head against her hip.
She’d leave soon enough. Lex would come in furious and ranting about being lied to and would take Lana away and he’d be alone again.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, even though he wasn’t sure what he was apologizing for.
For not being Jason any longer? Or for still needing them both like he needed air, like he needed dad and Sam.
He felt Lana’s lips against the back of his hand and he slept.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-10 11:53 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-11 12:57 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-13 07:57 am (UTC)I LOVE this story, it's definitely one of the best SV/SPN xovers I've ever read! More soon please!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-14 08:49 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-15 03:22 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-17 07:09 pm (UTC)