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FIC: TeenWolf/Avengers - Stiles Stilinski: Agent of SHIELD - 6/? - PG-13
Summary: Stiles goes to college and accidentally gets hired by SHIELD.
TITLE: Stiles Stilinski: Agent of SHIELD
RATING: PG-13 (for now)
PAIRING: Gen – but Stiles/Clint (eventually)
AUTHOR: Melanie
Summary: Stiles goes to college and accidentally gets hired by SHIELD.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing Marvel, MTV, etc own everything but the idea to mesh them..
FEEDBACK: Please?
Stiles Stilinski, Agent of Shield 6/?
Stiles goes back to New York and the Helicarrier with little fanfare.
And it’s not like he expected a parade or Scott beating on his chest in agony or anything. He’d just thought that since the pack had come all the way to Laurentville to supposedly see him… well he’d kind of thought they’d at least be there to say goodbye.
But when he gets his wake-up call from Coulson he finds out that not only have the Avengers gone to continue their search for Ramirez, but that his pack has gone to play nice with Darren’s pack.
It’s just Lydia and Danny waiting for him, and they’d only stayed behind because apparently the packs were going to be doing wolfy, no humans invited stuff.
Lydia seems slightly annoyed by that, Stiles thinks that its jealousy rearing up green-eyed hind legs and roaring, she doesn’t seem to realize that she’s got Jackson tied around all of her fingers and toes and her only real competition is most likely Danny.
He slides into the empty chair that he’s pretty sure is meant for him; Danny’s got a bagel already smeared with cream cheese waiting and Lydia shoves a bowl of fruit next to the plate and they discuss the next steps for their database of creatures without any creature involvement.
******************************************************************************
They’ve been working on the database since their senior year in highschool. Three humans left alone in a house while the wolves are out doing something interesting? Well they had to do something and Danny was too sensible to allow them to follow along behind and Lydia had vetoed the orgy before Stiles had even formed a complete thought centering around it.
Instead they started working on the database. Danny did all the programming, Stiles did the web searching for any and all mentions of supernatural type creatures and Lydia (after complaining fiercely about her nails and they damage all the typing was doing) helped dump everything that Stiles had found into it.
Then they all started working on translating the Argents Bestiary to verify the existence of the hypothetical creatures and put great big question marks on the ones that they can’t verify.
They’d originally planned on just dumping the Argent’s Bestiary into the database and adding to it, but as they’d found out very early on, it’s weighted heavily in favor of the Hunters and there are quite a few creatures that aren’t necessary evil unless cornered with a crossbow in their face.
******************************************************************************
It’s sort of anti-climactic getting back to the Helicarrier, Stiles isn’t sure what he expected.
Agent Coulson is ushered away pretty much as soon as they step off the jet to meet with Director Fury and the flight crews are waiting for him to move so they can do whatever it is that they do.
He’d thought there’d be some sort of direction, guidance or something. There isn’t any, at least none that anyone is sharing with him; so he goes to his room, it’s to be same old, same old he thinks. He’s got six hours before his shift starts so he strips off his borrowed uniform and drops it into the laundry, changes into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and collapses on his bed.
He doesn’t have time or energy to think about how he thought things would change, because he’s exhausted and he’s asleep pretty much as soon as his head hits the pillow.
******************************************************************************
He skids to a stop about a second before the start of shift. His alarm hadn’t gone off and then he couldn’t find any uniforms and it’s pretty much started out the way most crap days do.
If he were in Beacon Hills he would have phoned in a ‘be on high alert for attack’ message right as he slid into his desk in homeroom.
He didn’t have time for coffee so he’s trying to yawn without opening his mouth while the head Librarian hands out assignments. His heart sort of jumps and startles when the group is dismissed and he doesn’t have a job for the day.
“Stilinski,” she looks at him like he’s an interesting book that she would love nothing more than to shove under some spot lights and look for hidden meaning in. He takes a step back out of reflex, even though he’s pretty sure he could take her, because in his past experience that look has meant something trying to gut him and peer at his insides. “What are you doing here?”
“Um,” he glances at the clock over the main desk, yes, it is time to start. “It’s the start of my shift?”
She sighs at him then goes behind the desk to her phone. It rings before she can pick it up.
“Library,” she says, her voice is always calm and cool. She would be an awesome 911 operator, nothing seems to faze her. “Yes, he’s right here. Yes, yes, well apparently no one either shared that information with him or directed him where to go.”
She hangs up and looks at him, he looks back and tries not fidget.
“Am I being fired?” he asks finally, she raises an eyebrow at him.
“You’re being moved to a lateral department,” she says finally.
“But… I like my job,” he says.
“Then you shouldn’t have displayed knowledge that would be better suited elsewhere,” a voice comes from behind him. There’s an older woman standing there when he turns, she’s in a similar uniform to the one that he’d been wearing when Agent Coulson took him on his field trip.
“I’ll take him from here,” her voice is cool and he looks between the two women who are eying each other like they’re looking for the best spot to put the knife or a bullet.
******************************************************************************
“Where exactly are we going?” he asks, he’s fairly in shape, he’s still feeling like he might actually die if they don’t reach their destination soon.
“Agent Coulson was very impressed with your work in Laurentville,” she ignores his question so he doesn’t tell her that Agent Coulson had seemed sort of indifferent to him in Laurentville. “And since Agent Coulson was impressed with you, that means Director Fury has taken an interest in your placement here.”
“Is that why I’m being moved?” he asks even though he doesn’t expect an answer. They stop in front of a door finally, he doesn’t go to knees and praise the lord but it’s a near thing. The door is closed and apparently secured as she pulls a key card from her pocket; the lock light turns green when she swipes it across the pad and the door slides open. He’s startled when she hands it to him.
“What?”
She walks into the room, which turns out to be an office when he enters. It’s bright and airy; it has a window with a view of the sky since the Helicarrier is in the air.
There are two desks that he can see, the one in front is neat and orderly; the one stationed back and away from the door, half hidden by a partitioned wall looks like it should be creaking from the weight of the books and papers piled on top of it. There are two coffee cups hanging out on a corner and he thinks he sees a tray from the cafeteria half buried.
There’s a table with four chairs off to one side of the room and on the other side is a row of bookcases, looking disorganized and cluttered and it all makes his fingers twitch to pull out some cleaning supplies.
The door clicks open behind them and he turns to see a young man about his age, maybe slightly younger standing there.
“Is this him?” the kid asks.
“No Crawford, I brought someone who shouldn’t even know where these offices are and handed him a key card because he looked cute, yes this is him.”
“He was supposed to be here first thing this morning,” Crawford says, he goes around them, heading not for the cluttered desk in the back but the neat and orderly one in front of it.
“No one apparently told him where to go,” she says, they both look at him and he clears his throat.
“We got back late last night; Agent Coulson was pulled into a meeting with Director Fury right after we got back.”
“Alright, I’ll leave you two to get started. Crawford do you have his schedule for the day?”
“Yes ma’am, I’ll make sure he gets to where he needs to with time to spare.”
She leaves, the door clicking shut behind her.
“She didn’t even introduce herself,” Stiles stares after her.
“Agent Daniels,” Crawford says, he punches a few keys on his keyboard and his computer starts booting up. “She’s kind of our liaison between the Library and… well everyone else.”
“So she’s our boss,” Stiles says nodding once.
“Not really, we, our little department of two, kind of dotted line reports to a bunch of different people. She’s just the one that makes sure that we aren’t getting crack head requests from departments who have no reason to request things. All requests get routed through her then she identifies the list of priorities and then sends them on to us.”
Stiles’ eyes must be huge by the time that Crawford finally stops talking because he takes pity on him and points at the desk.
“That’s your desk there,” he says.
“And the piles of paper and books are your way of welcoming me to the fold?”
Crawford laughs sharply, startled, like he hadn’t been expecting it.
“No, that’s just the way that Agent Markoff liked to work.”
“Did Agent Markoff lose his job because of me?” Stiles asks as he sort of tentatively approaches the desk. The last time he’d seen a pile of stuff like this there’d been a garden gnome with a spear waiting for him. He hadn’t ended up being a Stiles on a stick because Isaac had been there and sort of flung him out of the way.
“No, he dropped dead about three weeks ago; they’d been looking for a replacement since then.”
“Did he get crushed by his piles of paper? Because Holy Mary mother of God that’s a huge fucking pile of paper,” Stiles says as he makes it around the desk. Nothing attacks him; he counts it as a win. The piles look worse from this side, how did Markoff ever get anything done?
“Heart attack, it was kind of sudden.”
“Oh, crap, I’m sorry for your loss,” Stiles says.
“Nah, don’t be, he was a grade A prick, I’m not even sure why Director Fury hired him except he knew all sorts of obscure stuff about a bunch of other stuff,” Crawford says, his computer beeps and he glances at the screen then down at his wrist.
Stiles pushes a pile of paper aside gently, makes himself a little hole in the center of the desk so he can put his hands there, he’d lay his head down and sob but he thinks that’ll scare Crawford.
“You’ve got a meeting with Agent Coulson in 24 minutes,” Crawford says, “If we leave now we’ll make it mostly on-time.”
“Can we leave a trail of breadcrumbs? I’m not sure how we even got here in the first place.”
******************************************************************************
Agent Coulson is sitting silently behind his desk looking at him, Stiles sits silently in his chair wishing he’d chosen to sit on his hands so he wouldn’t feel like wringing them together and apologizing.
Coulson looks over at Crawford. “I’ll go find him some new uniforms and get his IT credentials setup,” Crawford says, he widens his eyes and bites his lip when he turns to leave, Stiles almost grins but manages to catch himself in time.
The door to Coulson’s office is silent as it closes behind Crawford.
“I meant to have this meeting with you yesterday,” Coulson says. “But time got away from us.”
“Okay.”
“I’m sure that Specialist Crawford is going to be able to get you up to speed fairly quickly on how things run in that office, but mostly the expectation is that you are going to continue to do what you’ve been doing.”
“Is this meant to be a temp thing, you know, fill in until you find someone more qualified, because… well what I’ve been doing is filing papers and books and using my lunch break to read the ones that we’re allowed to touch.”
“This is a permanent move, and the expectation is going to be you continuing on in your role as liaison between any werewolf packs we might have to come in contact with in the course of missions. When that’s not actually a duty requiring your full attention Agent Markoff was working on verifying the existence of the various creatures and entities on this planet that we may not have already been aware of, as well as setting up a series of documents that address how to interact with them without an incident like the one a few days ago.”
“So what you want me to really do is continue on with the fact or fiction database that Lydia and Danny and I are working on,” Stiles says slowly.
“Yes, Mr. Mahealani and Ms. Martin showed us the software that you’ve been working on; I’m sure Mr. Stark will try to talk you into making changes to it for whatever reason, feel free to smack him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper if he gets out of control.”
“You want me to work, on SHIELD time, on the database that my friends and I work on in our spare time.”
“I think you’ll find that Agent Markoff has given you a very good head start on the process.”
******************************************************************************
The database is going to be housed on a separate computer, not connected in any way to the SHIELD network. Coulson wouldn’t tell him why, just said that it was better for everyone involved this way.
There’s a tightening of his mouth that Stiles will later learn means that it has something to do with Tony Stark, but at that point he just makes a wild guess and pinpoints Tony as the most probable reason.
******************************************************************************
The Avengers return with Ramirez in tow, Stiles doesn’t see him or them, though he hears the whispers at dinner when he and Crawford go get something to eat. Thursday is chicken patty and curly fries day in the cafeteria and Stiles isn’t strong enough to resist the lure of deep fried chicken and curly fries.
It takes him four days to settle into a routine and feel brave enough to completely clear off the piles of papers and books on his desk.
Crawford makes a noise like Stiles is killing something in his soul when he comes in and finds Stiles in the middle of their office surrounded by piles of paper.
“I think the papers are breeding,” Stiles says.
“Oh my god, what are you doing?” Crawford returns.
“I can’t work like that,” Stiles waves a hand in the air.
“Well I can’t work like this!”
“So make a hole and help me get through the piles, the longer they stay on the floor the more of them there seem to be.”
******************************************************************************
Stiles has meetings with Agent Coulson twice a week to update him on the progress of the database as well as the progress of anything that will make outline how to interact with creatures of a non-human, non-mutant variety so as to not get their agents killed.
He doesn’t need Crawford to take him to the meetings anymore because he’s more or less (mostly less, but he’s down to one wrong turn a trip now) figured out how to get to Coulson’s office and back.
Clint is there on his Thursday meeting, leaning against a cabinet against one wall, arms crossed over his chest. ‘Assassin at Repose’ Stiles titles the snapshot his brain takes.
He has nicely muscled arms and Stiles turns that line of thought off pretty much immediately. Those types of thoughts lead to death by either bow and arrow or throat slitting and he’s actually having a really good week so…
He takes a seat in the empty chair across from Coulson’s desk, folders staying closed on his lap.
“What do you know about vampires?” Coulson asks, Stiles blinks and looks over at where Clint appears to be totally bored by everything.
“I know to stay away from them,” Stiles says. Vampires of real are not at all like the vampires in books and movies, they’re mostly vicious and cruel and they enjoy playing with their food (AKA humans) before they drain them.
They don’t have souls and they don’t feel remorse and if you get in the line of sight of one…
“And if that’s not an option?” Coulson taps the fingers of his right hand against his desk.
“There’s a few ways to kill them,” Stiles says, “I’ll make a list.”
“What if we don’t want to kill it?” Clint asks.
“Then you could fake your own death, because see the thing about vampires, they’re kind of like the Terminator, they’ll always be back.”
And if at first they don’t succeed they’ll bring companions to help the cause along.
Vampire and werewolves don’t get along; one of the ways to kill a vampire is to have a werewolf tear it into teeny-tiny little shreds. Stiles heard about it later, he’d been glad at the time that he was a ‘fragile human’ because if he’d been there, and he’d seen the mess instead of hearing about it later?
He would have sworn off meat and possibly food forever.
******************************************************************************
TITLE: Stiles Stilinski: Agent of SHIELD
RATING: PG-13 (for now)
PAIRING: Gen – but Stiles/Clint (eventually)
AUTHOR: Melanie
Summary: Stiles goes to college and accidentally gets hired by SHIELD.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing Marvel, MTV, etc own everything but the idea to mesh them..
FEEDBACK: Please?
Stiles Stilinski, Agent of Shield 6/?
Stiles goes back to New York and the Helicarrier with little fanfare.
And it’s not like he expected a parade or Scott beating on his chest in agony or anything. He’d just thought that since the pack had come all the way to Laurentville to supposedly see him… well he’d kind of thought they’d at least be there to say goodbye.
But when he gets his wake-up call from Coulson he finds out that not only have the Avengers gone to continue their search for Ramirez, but that his pack has gone to play nice with Darren’s pack.
It’s just Lydia and Danny waiting for him, and they’d only stayed behind because apparently the packs were going to be doing wolfy, no humans invited stuff.
Lydia seems slightly annoyed by that, Stiles thinks that its jealousy rearing up green-eyed hind legs and roaring, she doesn’t seem to realize that she’s got Jackson tied around all of her fingers and toes and her only real competition is most likely Danny.
He slides into the empty chair that he’s pretty sure is meant for him; Danny’s got a bagel already smeared with cream cheese waiting and Lydia shoves a bowl of fruit next to the plate and they discuss the next steps for their database of creatures without any creature involvement.
They’ve been working on the database since their senior year in highschool. Three humans left alone in a house while the wolves are out doing something interesting? Well they had to do something and Danny was too sensible to allow them to follow along behind and Lydia had vetoed the orgy before Stiles had even formed a complete thought centering around it.
Instead they started working on the database. Danny did all the programming, Stiles did the web searching for any and all mentions of supernatural type creatures and Lydia (after complaining fiercely about her nails and they damage all the typing was doing) helped dump everything that Stiles had found into it.
Then they all started working on translating the Argents Bestiary to verify the existence of the hypothetical creatures and put great big question marks on the ones that they can’t verify.
They’d originally planned on just dumping the Argent’s Bestiary into the database and adding to it, but as they’d found out very early on, it’s weighted heavily in favor of the Hunters and there are quite a few creatures that aren’t necessary evil unless cornered with a crossbow in their face.
It’s sort of anti-climactic getting back to the Helicarrier, Stiles isn’t sure what he expected.
Agent Coulson is ushered away pretty much as soon as they step off the jet to meet with Director Fury and the flight crews are waiting for him to move so they can do whatever it is that they do.
He’d thought there’d be some sort of direction, guidance or something. There isn’t any, at least none that anyone is sharing with him; so he goes to his room, it’s to be same old, same old he thinks. He’s got six hours before his shift starts so he strips off his borrowed uniform and drops it into the laundry, changes into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and collapses on his bed.
He doesn’t have time or energy to think about how he thought things would change, because he’s exhausted and he’s asleep pretty much as soon as his head hits the pillow.
He skids to a stop about a second before the start of shift. His alarm hadn’t gone off and then he couldn’t find any uniforms and it’s pretty much started out the way most crap days do.
If he were in Beacon Hills he would have phoned in a ‘be on high alert for attack’ message right as he slid into his desk in homeroom.
He didn’t have time for coffee so he’s trying to yawn without opening his mouth while the head Librarian hands out assignments. His heart sort of jumps and startles when the group is dismissed and he doesn’t have a job for the day.
“Stilinski,” she looks at him like he’s an interesting book that she would love nothing more than to shove under some spot lights and look for hidden meaning in. He takes a step back out of reflex, even though he’s pretty sure he could take her, because in his past experience that look has meant something trying to gut him and peer at his insides. “What are you doing here?”
“Um,” he glances at the clock over the main desk, yes, it is time to start. “It’s the start of my shift?”
She sighs at him then goes behind the desk to her phone. It rings before she can pick it up.
“Library,” she says, her voice is always calm and cool. She would be an awesome 911 operator, nothing seems to faze her. “Yes, he’s right here. Yes, yes, well apparently no one either shared that information with him or directed him where to go.”
She hangs up and looks at him, he looks back and tries not fidget.
“Am I being fired?” he asks finally, she raises an eyebrow at him.
“You’re being moved to a lateral department,” she says finally.
“But… I like my job,” he says.
“Then you shouldn’t have displayed knowledge that would be better suited elsewhere,” a voice comes from behind him. There’s an older woman standing there when he turns, she’s in a similar uniform to the one that he’d been wearing when Agent Coulson took him on his field trip.
“I’ll take him from here,” her voice is cool and he looks between the two women who are eying each other like they’re looking for the best spot to put the knife or a bullet.
“Where exactly are we going?” he asks, he’s fairly in shape, he’s still feeling like he might actually die if they don’t reach their destination soon.
“Agent Coulson was very impressed with your work in Laurentville,” she ignores his question so he doesn’t tell her that Agent Coulson had seemed sort of indifferent to him in Laurentville. “And since Agent Coulson was impressed with you, that means Director Fury has taken an interest in your placement here.”
“Is that why I’m being moved?” he asks even though he doesn’t expect an answer. They stop in front of a door finally, he doesn’t go to knees and praise the lord but it’s a near thing. The door is closed and apparently secured as she pulls a key card from her pocket; the lock light turns green when she swipes it across the pad and the door slides open. He’s startled when she hands it to him.
“What?”
She walks into the room, which turns out to be an office when he enters. It’s bright and airy; it has a window with a view of the sky since the Helicarrier is in the air.
There are two desks that he can see, the one in front is neat and orderly; the one stationed back and away from the door, half hidden by a partitioned wall looks like it should be creaking from the weight of the books and papers piled on top of it. There are two coffee cups hanging out on a corner and he thinks he sees a tray from the cafeteria half buried.
There’s a table with four chairs off to one side of the room and on the other side is a row of bookcases, looking disorganized and cluttered and it all makes his fingers twitch to pull out some cleaning supplies.
The door clicks open behind them and he turns to see a young man about his age, maybe slightly younger standing there.
“Is this him?” the kid asks.
“No Crawford, I brought someone who shouldn’t even know where these offices are and handed him a key card because he looked cute, yes this is him.”
“He was supposed to be here first thing this morning,” Crawford says, he goes around them, heading not for the cluttered desk in the back but the neat and orderly one in front of it.
“No one apparently told him where to go,” she says, they both look at him and he clears his throat.
“We got back late last night; Agent Coulson was pulled into a meeting with Director Fury right after we got back.”
“Alright, I’ll leave you two to get started. Crawford do you have his schedule for the day?”
“Yes ma’am, I’ll make sure he gets to where he needs to with time to spare.”
She leaves, the door clicking shut behind her.
“She didn’t even introduce herself,” Stiles stares after her.
“Agent Daniels,” Crawford says, he punches a few keys on his keyboard and his computer starts booting up. “She’s kind of our liaison between the Library and… well everyone else.”
“So she’s our boss,” Stiles says nodding once.
“Not really, we, our little department of two, kind of dotted line reports to a bunch of different people. She’s just the one that makes sure that we aren’t getting crack head requests from departments who have no reason to request things. All requests get routed through her then she identifies the list of priorities and then sends them on to us.”
Stiles’ eyes must be huge by the time that Crawford finally stops talking because he takes pity on him and points at the desk.
“That’s your desk there,” he says.
“And the piles of paper and books are your way of welcoming me to the fold?”
Crawford laughs sharply, startled, like he hadn’t been expecting it.
“No, that’s just the way that Agent Markoff liked to work.”
“Did Agent Markoff lose his job because of me?” Stiles asks as he sort of tentatively approaches the desk. The last time he’d seen a pile of stuff like this there’d been a garden gnome with a spear waiting for him. He hadn’t ended up being a Stiles on a stick because Isaac had been there and sort of flung him out of the way.
“No, he dropped dead about three weeks ago; they’d been looking for a replacement since then.”
“Did he get crushed by his piles of paper? Because Holy Mary mother of God that’s a huge fucking pile of paper,” Stiles says as he makes it around the desk. Nothing attacks him; he counts it as a win. The piles look worse from this side, how did Markoff ever get anything done?
“Heart attack, it was kind of sudden.”
“Oh, crap, I’m sorry for your loss,” Stiles says.
“Nah, don’t be, he was a grade A prick, I’m not even sure why Director Fury hired him except he knew all sorts of obscure stuff about a bunch of other stuff,” Crawford says, his computer beeps and he glances at the screen then down at his wrist.
Stiles pushes a pile of paper aside gently, makes himself a little hole in the center of the desk so he can put his hands there, he’d lay his head down and sob but he thinks that’ll scare Crawford.
“You’ve got a meeting with Agent Coulson in 24 minutes,” Crawford says, “If we leave now we’ll make it mostly on-time.”
“Can we leave a trail of breadcrumbs? I’m not sure how we even got here in the first place.”
Agent Coulson is sitting silently behind his desk looking at him, Stiles sits silently in his chair wishing he’d chosen to sit on his hands so he wouldn’t feel like wringing them together and apologizing.
Coulson looks over at Crawford. “I’ll go find him some new uniforms and get his IT credentials setup,” Crawford says, he widens his eyes and bites his lip when he turns to leave, Stiles almost grins but manages to catch himself in time.
The door to Coulson’s office is silent as it closes behind Crawford.
“I meant to have this meeting with you yesterday,” Coulson says. “But time got away from us.”
“Okay.”
“I’m sure that Specialist Crawford is going to be able to get you up to speed fairly quickly on how things run in that office, but mostly the expectation is that you are going to continue to do what you’ve been doing.”
“Is this meant to be a temp thing, you know, fill in until you find someone more qualified, because… well what I’ve been doing is filing papers and books and using my lunch break to read the ones that we’re allowed to touch.”
“This is a permanent move, and the expectation is going to be you continuing on in your role as liaison between any werewolf packs we might have to come in contact with in the course of missions. When that’s not actually a duty requiring your full attention Agent Markoff was working on verifying the existence of the various creatures and entities on this planet that we may not have already been aware of, as well as setting up a series of documents that address how to interact with them without an incident like the one a few days ago.”
“So what you want me to really do is continue on with the fact or fiction database that Lydia and Danny and I are working on,” Stiles says slowly.
“Yes, Mr. Mahealani and Ms. Martin showed us the software that you’ve been working on; I’m sure Mr. Stark will try to talk you into making changes to it for whatever reason, feel free to smack him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper if he gets out of control.”
“You want me to work, on SHIELD time, on the database that my friends and I work on in our spare time.”
“I think you’ll find that Agent Markoff has given you a very good head start on the process.”
The database is going to be housed on a separate computer, not connected in any way to the SHIELD network. Coulson wouldn’t tell him why, just said that it was better for everyone involved this way.
There’s a tightening of his mouth that Stiles will later learn means that it has something to do with Tony Stark, but at that point he just makes a wild guess and pinpoints Tony as the most probable reason.
The Avengers return with Ramirez in tow, Stiles doesn’t see him or them, though he hears the whispers at dinner when he and Crawford go get something to eat. Thursday is chicken patty and curly fries day in the cafeteria and Stiles isn’t strong enough to resist the lure of deep fried chicken and curly fries.
It takes him four days to settle into a routine and feel brave enough to completely clear off the piles of papers and books on his desk.
Crawford makes a noise like Stiles is killing something in his soul when he comes in and finds Stiles in the middle of their office surrounded by piles of paper.
“I think the papers are breeding,” Stiles says.
“Oh my god, what are you doing?” Crawford returns.
“I can’t work like that,” Stiles waves a hand in the air.
“Well I can’t work like this!”
“So make a hole and help me get through the piles, the longer they stay on the floor the more of them there seem to be.”
Stiles has meetings with Agent Coulson twice a week to update him on the progress of the database as well as the progress of anything that will make outline how to interact with creatures of a non-human, non-mutant variety so as to not get their agents killed.
He doesn’t need Crawford to take him to the meetings anymore because he’s more or less (mostly less, but he’s down to one wrong turn a trip now) figured out how to get to Coulson’s office and back.
Clint is there on his Thursday meeting, leaning against a cabinet against one wall, arms crossed over his chest. ‘Assassin at Repose’ Stiles titles the snapshot his brain takes.
He has nicely muscled arms and Stiles turns that line of thought off pretty much immediately. Those types of thoughts lead to death by either bow and arrow or throat slitting and he’s actually having a really good week so…
He takes a seat in the empty chair across from Coulson’s desk, folders staying closed on his lap.
“What do you know about vampires?” Coulson asks, Stiles blinks and looks over at where Clint appears to be totally bored by everything.
“I know to stay away from them,” Stiles says. Vampires of real are not at all like the vampires in books and movies, they’re mostly vicious and cruel and they enjoy playing with their food (AKA humans) before they drain them.
They don’t have souls and they don’t feel remorse and if you get in the line of sight of one…
“And if that’s not an option?” Coulson taps the fingers of his right hand against his desk.
“There’s a few ways to kill them,” Stiles says, “I’ll make a list.”
“What if we don’t want to kill it?” Clint asks.
“Then you could fake your own death, because see the thing about vampires, they’re kind of like the Terminator, they’ll always be back.”
And if at first they don’t succeed they’ll bring companions to help the cause along.
Vampire and werewolves don’t get along; one of the ways to kill a vampire is to have a werewolf tear it into teeny-tiny little shreds. Stiles heard about it later, he’d been glad at the time that he was a ‘fragile human’ because if he’d been there, and he’d seen the mess instead of hearing about it later?
He would have sworn off meat and possibly food forever.
no subject